Genderbent Raven x Reader: Loving A Demon

Chapter 54 After Match

Y/N's pov

  "F-Friend Y/N?" Bolt spoke as he knocked on my door "You have not left your room in two of the days. Are you sick? The others and I are worried. Friend Rave is worried, he said you have ignored him as well."
"I'm alright.." I sighed, letting the lie slip through my teeth "Just been tired, my head has just been hurting.." I pulled my knees to my chest as I continued lying to my best friend, I didn't want anyone to know the true "Don't worry about it Bolt."
  "Okay!" His cheery voice returning "I hope you feel the alright soon! I wish to have another night of movies with you!"
I listened as his footsteps faded down the hall, pulling my knees closer to me as my thoughts took over.. How could I have been so weak, so weak to let him control me..
You hurt people, people who look up to you!
You hurt Rave! He saw you kiss Blitz!
"I couldn't control it.." I muttered, tears pricking my eyes "I was too weak.."
You always have been! Always will be!
Honestly what does the team see in you? They don't need a weakling on the team! A freak!
  "Y/N!" A voice yelled as there was pounding on my door "I've been trying to call you! We have a mission!"
  "Coming Robyn!" I called back as I slowly stood up looking in the mirror "Shit.."
I kept my head down as I opened my door, trying to hid my puffy eyes from my leader. She was about to speak when the alarm went off once more, we both nodded before running towards the garage.
   I took my window seat in the T-Car avoiding the others questioning looks.
Why should they worry?
  You did this yourself because of how weak you are!
  Weak!
  I clinched my fists staring out the window as we went through the underwater tunnel that connected the city to us.
The Hive was robbing a bank near the area had burned just two days ago. I stood by the car staring at the burned and ruined buildings.
You only hurt people with your powers!
It's why you were made, remember!
  The others were distracted with fighting and I took it as my chance to run. I couldn't fight, not with these horrid thoughts. I ran towards the entrance of our underwater tunnel typing in the code before walking in. My communicator buzzed as I walked through the tunnel, ignoring it as I continued. I was almost half way through the six mile long under water path when I fell to my knees, the voices in my head getting the better of me. My back hit the wall as I brought my knees back to my chest, tears streaming.
I stayed still, letting my thoughts and tears take over. My back sore from the position as a car door was heard slammed. I looked up as my name was called.
"Y/N!" Robyn yelled as Rave ran over to me the others behind him "What happened? Why didn't you pick up?"
"I-I can't do it.." I cried curling up into Rave's arms as he picked me up "I'll hurt people again, I'll hurt you again!"
  "Friend Y/N is this about what my brother did?" Bolt asked, I just nodded my head.
  "Y/N it wasn't your fault.." Rave muttered as we approached the T-Car, he held me in his lap "You couldn't control what happened."
"B-But I hurt you.." I sniffed burying my head in his arms "T-The voices won't let me forget..."
  "Y/N what do you mean voices?"
  "I-I've had them ever since I was taken by Blood when I was younger." I answered Cy's question leaning as close as I could to Rave "I don't know why I have them, m-maybe a manifestation I created to keep me company all those years alone, a horrible one... I'm sorry I'm weak, I'm sorry I got caught, I'm sorry-"
  "Stop it!" Bolt yelled surprising everyone "It was not your fault! None of it was your fault Friend Y/N! My brother used you, you could not control what you had did."
  "He's right dudette." BG spoke turning to look at me from the front seat "None of us blame you for what happened! You are strong Y/N! Never forget it!"
  "Y/N it's not going to leave you right away, the feeling." Robyn spoke patting my head "But none of us look at you the way you're mind is telling you right now. That voice you hear it isn't telling you anything but lies."
  "The voice can't hurt you unless you let it." Rave sighed stroking my hair before we reached the garage "Just keep in mind that none of us blame you for what happened two days ago."
  "He's right." Cy said as she opened her door "Some of us have been controlled before and could do nothing to stop it. I've felt the way you have Y/N after it. It's just the after match of the situation."
  I nodded my head slowly at my friends words, the voices still lingered but I couldn't always let them take over. I may have been made for destruction but I wasn't going to succumb to the thoughts. I saved helped people maybe it was time for me to get some help myself, instead of blocking my friends out when the voice came back.
  "You can't do everything on your own." Rave said as he walked us towards his room "Remember that. The team and I are always going to be here Y/N.."