FALL | kth

Faults & Pity

YOUR POV

You were escorted by wheelchair to Taehyung's room, which was only a few doors down, but every second was agonising as you didn't know how to really feel. At this point, Taehyung's mother had already left to freshen up so you had the room to yourself. You open the door to see his lifeless body on a hospital bed. He's pale, wearing a gown, needles and injections placed in several places. You glance at the machine and hear slow but steady beeping. With tears clouding your vision, you slowly get up from the chair and begin walking towards the boy you once loved.

You gently intertwine you fingers with his cold ones and a small smile paints over your features allowing a single tear to escape.
"I'm sorry..", you cried. "This is all my fault. If only i told you the truth. If only i stayed home that night and listened to you. Im sorry Taehyung...you don't deserve this" you choked out keeping your gaze lowered on your hands.
"It should've been me", you whispered almost inaudibly. Just then, a nurse walks in calling out for you to get some rest.

Pity. That's all i see on her face.

You turn to look back at Taehyung and place a soft kiss on his forehead, not missing the chance to gently brush your fingers through his ocean blue hair.

"I love you..more than you know"

Time Skip

hyun_jae: Where did you run off to?
11:23pm
Read

hyun_jae: I love you Maeri. Come back to me and we can be together again.
1:45am
Read

hyun_jae: I promise i won't hurt you again, just give me one more chance and i'll make you the happiest girl alive.
11:24pm
Read

hyun_jae: Fucking answer me! We both know you wont be able to stay away from me forever.
9:43am
Read

hyun_jae: Your mine. Remember that babygirl.
10:01am
Read

You scrunch your nose with disgust and put your phone down hearing the door open to a huge teddy bear with human legs that seem to be waddling in a toddler-like manner. Your eyes then wander to five other heads that suddenly appear from behind the door. All of a sudden a loud scream fills up the once silent room and thats when you realise..

They're here...

You're family is here.

The people that were always there for you. Sure you had your mother and she cared for you, in her own way, but these boys were the true definition of family to you.

A huge grin lights up your face as you watch the brunette clumsily try to get up after tripping over and unfortunately ripping off the poor teddy bears leg.
"Mae- HEY!!! BE CAREFUL!", everyone looked to the floor to see Jungkook and the teddy face flat, struggling to get off the floor, whilst Jin yelled at him for ripping off the 'expensive' teddy's leg.

After their long quarrel, all the boys were surrounding your bed with worried and sad looking faces after hearing that not only did both their best friends get into an accident, but one of them are in a life threatening position which, you have to admit, is scary to begin thinking about let alone experience.

"He'll be okay...right?", Jungkook's huge teary orbs scan all our face expectantly, hoping that someone would shine a ray of hope over the dark thoughts he was getting, but all he got was no sense of eye contact or response. He was left conflicted. We were all conflicted. Although you were way less injured, you were hospitalized for at least a few more weeks due to physiotherapy, however your mind was being eaten by different types of thoughts concerning Taehyung's position.

Will he wake up? When will he wake up? This is all my fault..Will he hate me when he wakes up? I hope not. What if..

What if he doesn't remember me..?

All these thoughts began driving you into a mental state you feared. You wouldn't lose to the fear. No. For you and your family, you would fight it. You wanted to, you really did. But this zone of conflict and fear almost made you feel comfortable because in a way, you wouldn't be pressured by the constant changes of your emotions and of course this could change you. Make you into a new person. Maybe it was the guilt pulling you to that conclusion but you decided it would be best that you changed, to come at peace with yourself so that Taehyung could wake up and everything would be better from then on.

And ohh did it drag you. It consumed you whole until you no longer ate regularly, you were lacking energy all over which caused you to have growing insomnia.

..and that's how therapy got involved.
Of course they thought you were depressed. To anyone who spared a glance at you, 'DEPRESSION' was engraved all over your actions, posture and manner. But honestly, this wasn't something to be fixed in a month or two because this wasn't depression. If you could diagnose yourself right now, it would definitely be the fact that you just didn't give two fucks. No forget two fucks..you couldn't even give a fuck.
The whole situation with Taehyung and trying to stay sane drained you out, to a point where you just didn't care.