Bnha x Male reader oneshots

More Memes

Tokoyami: In light of what you did today you may hug me for 4-5 seconds.

(Y/n): 45 seconds?!

Tokoyami: No! 4 to 5!!!

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Iida: If it bites you and you die, it's venomous. If you bite it and you die it's poisonous.

Sero: What if it bites you and it dies?

Iida: That means you're poisonous, Sero.

Kaminari: What if it bites itself and I die?

Iida: That's voodoo.

Kirishima: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Iida: That's correlation, not causation.

Mina: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

(Y/n) and Bakugo simultaneously: That's kinky.

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Midoriya: Todoroki, are you going to eat all that soba?

Todoroki: No. This is for everyone else as well.

(Y/n), in narrator voice: He was lying.

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Author: I'm gay and confused.

(Y/n): About your sexuality?

Author: No, not about being lesbian. I just never know what's going on.

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Momma/Author: Can you pass the pepper?

Mum: What's the magic word?

Momma: ...... *Starts chanting in Latin*

Mum, panicking: JUST TAKE IT OH MY GOD-

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Reader 1: Do you want to hang out with us at McDonald's?

Author: My heart says yes but my anxiety says no.

Reader 2: Sorry all I heard was yes come on, LET'S GO IN THE BALLPIT!

Author: KIDDOS MY ANXIETY SAYS NO.

Reader 3: Listen to your heart!

Author: KIDDOS-

Reader 2: B A L L P I T

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Dabi: *Sneezes*

Toga: Oh my god. Dabi's dabbing.

Dabi: No I'm not, I have allergies.

Dabi: *Tries to hold it in*

(Y/n): Ooh he's gonna do it again. F*CKIN HIT IT CHICKEN NUGGET.

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Kaminari: Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

Bakugo: I'm a knife.

(Y/n) from the other room: He's a little spoon!

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Iida: Do you want to tell me how you crashed the car?

(Y/n): Well we were driving and there was this deer in the middle of the road that Shoto couldn't see so I shouted, "Shoto, deer!"

Todoroki:

(Y/n): Do you want to tell him what your response was?

Todoroki:

Todoroki: "Yes, honey?"

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Iida: *Sharp intake of breath* You young homosapian with X Y chromosomes.

Bakugo: What?

Midoriya: He just said "boi" in scientific terms.

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Natsuo: I'm going to Tack Bell. You want anything?

Shoto: I want Touya to come back.

Natsuo: Yeah, I got like.... 12 dollars.

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Midoriya: You read my diary?!

(Y/n): Well, at first I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was just a very sad handwritten book.

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Toga: Guys, who wants to do this escape room with me?

(Y/n): That's.... that's a maximum security prison.

Toga: Admission is free!

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Author rushing into the room: They're in the yard!

(Y/n): Who's in the yard?

Author talking about the suitors: The boys!

(Y/n) now on high alert, gasping: My MiLkShAKeS!!

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(Y/n): What are you thankful for?

Dabi: Your d-

Mum: *Giving Dabi a death glare*

Dabi: -eeeeeelightful personality!

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Sero: Excuse me, why am I considered the responsible one?

Kaminari: Kirishima once stuck his hand in a toaster that was still on because he wanted his toast that second.

Kirishima: Kaminari once ate ice cream with a knife because he didn't want to acknowledge it was his turn to do the dishes.

Mina: I almost crashed the car cause I saw a dog on the sidewalk.

Sero: I'll never question it again.

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(Y/n): I couldn't sleep last night.

Ururaka: When you can't sleep it means someone's thinking about you.

(Y/n): Who would be thinking about me at 3 a.m.?

Tokoyami: *Gay panic*