How to Control your feelings

months of trying to seatle a 4th meeting

   After my foot got healed again, school started and I didn't have the liberty to go out like I do in summer days ..
I remember telling our sports teacher that I won't be able to run for some weeks and she laughed at me ... Lucy always hated her and so do I .. she's a nightmare !
   I wondered allot about the personality of (X) .. she could be any girl from these around me ... I tried so hard to figure out who she is .. but I couldn't ..
We tried to meet again but we always fail to meet ..
I remember once I was marching back home with a friend eating raw noodles with lots of spices , while I was eating, chatting, and laughing my eyes met his on the other side of the street .. he waved a little wave and so I did .. my face redden and my feet couldn't walk correctly ,staring at the other side of the street I fell down but my friend
-who didn't notice any single thing- helped me to stand up again laughing at me ...

  Nope I didn't met him again in months , not even in a strange way like the one when I fell ..
Every day my eyes searched for him when I'm on my way to school from the bus windows .. I didn't wanna loose the chance to make an eye contact with him again .. and nope I didn't see him ..
I had an idea that we could skip school someday and spend the day in an old empty unfinished building some where .. and on the night that follows our meeting date my phone decided to stop working ... I couldn't contact him directly so I decided to cancel our meeting ..
I told a friend I trust to tell him that I'm not going ....
We needed to meet so he can tell me who is (X) , " I wanna watch your reaction when you know" he said ..
My curiousity to know her grew harder day after day ..
Missing Lucy who was drowning in her studies , I couldn't meet her or contact her correctly .. it was awful ... I felt so lone without her around for lots and lots of months , I got used on that .. so I could handle not meeting him for a while ...