My week has been a completely blissful blur, I haven't seen K since Jayden moved all my stuff into his locker, Jayden and I have been making up for lost time, spending every free second either together or on the phone, it is now definitely common knowledge we are dating, I still haven't told my dad, I haven't quite worked out how to, I know I need to do it soon, the right time will present its self, I keep telling myself in a bid to push back the impending conversation. There is a new comfortable routine to my life, splitting my time between Jayden and Bella which works out better than I could have asked for, when Jayden is at soccer training Bella's not work, and when Bella is at work Jayden isn't at soccer training, besides Monday when I just dragged Jayden along to hang out with bella, and tonight I'm the one with nothing to do, bella is working and Jayden is at soccer training, its odd going from having so much time to yourself, to having it filled up with something you didn't know you needed, then when you have that alone time again it feels completely different to only a week ago, when you were perfectly content with that time, now instead it leave you at a loss for what to do with yourself, that's where I am currently at.
I sit at the coffee shop while Bella works, studying in the corner until and obnoxious group of older ladies become so loud, I can't hear myself think, saying bye to Bella I head over to the oval where Jayden is training, I'm surprised to see the cheer squad out here to they usually train in the gym, I take a seat on the bleachers and grab set out my books, I figure I have enough time for some leisure reading, I set a time so I will have time to finish reading the last few pages in my text book, ahead of my next AP Chem class, my alarm was ringing right as the cheer quad and soccer practice ended simultaneously, that's convenient I scoff, wondering if K hand brought her squad outside and finished them at the same time deliberately, my thoughts are interrupted as Carter takes a seat next to me
"hey beautiful"
"hey Carter. I think we should stick to Lee" he looks over at me before saying
"only saying what I see"
"about us seeing each other, I know we said we would get to know one another, but that was before Jayden and I..." I let it linger, he was well aware of what I was saying
"what we cant be friends?"
"I dont think that is what you want Carter"
"you dont know what I want, but I don't understand why it's okay for Jayden to hang out with his ex, yet we cant" he has a point about us only being friends but Jayden and K dont hang out
"they dont hang out anymore" I try to argue unfortunately it sounds more like a question than the confident statement I was attempting
"I see them together all the time" I'm skeptical of Carter's motives, unsure how much truth there is to what he is saying, until he looks out towards them and I have to swallow my words Jayden's back is towards me, so all I can see is K and she looks pretty happy with herself, I look away, I trust Jayden, I'm sure he will tell me what it is all about later.
Carter grabs my text book and with the pen I brought him the other day, starts writing on the inside of my Chem textbook front cover, finishing he passes it back to me, he looks towards Jayden and K then back to me, with his signature grin he leans down and whisper
"there's no rules" kiss on the cheek he walks off and I feel like I've done the wrong thing, I told him we shouldn't be friends, that's what I would expect Jayden to do with K, only his not, he has been talking to her a while now, knowing I am waiting for him, sure he thought I was going to meet him at the coffee shop, but surely he has seen me sitting here? Carter had, I look down to see what he had written in my text book, Anything is possible, when you have the right person next to you. I'm stumped its so simple yet such a perfect quote, not for me and him, just in general I agree with the quote, the right person should make you feel like anything is possible, that's how I feel about Jayden, it makes me smile and I let go of the frustration I was starting to have over him and K he chose me I have nothing to worry about.
Jayden jogs over and kisses me, since dad is at work and Addison at her coding, we decide to go back to my place, I did tell Jayden I did mind waiting if he wanted to go shower and get changed, he didn't want to waste anytime, it was a bad decision on he's part, sitting in the car the masculine smell of sweat is driving me crazy with desires, this need for Jayden, this is the firsts time since the weekend, and the first time since, I made up my mind, on wanting to experience all my firsts with Jayden, this is the first time will be able to do anything, he offered to go to him house throughout the week, knowing his family and their Italian values you bring her home for dinner, so the family can give you their blessing, then you can come around whenever you like, which I'm not sure I will get off his dad, either way for what I want to do, a reunion with his family might drag up to many heavy memories, ruining the mood, and my resolve has not changed.
Jayden Parks his car a few doors down, we head straight up to my bedroom, Jayden hesitated a little, but I wasn't having it, I sit on the bed while he takes in my room, like its the first time he has ever been in it, sure it has changed, the last time he was in here was when we were 12, walking over to a photo board on the wall, I'm slightly embarrassed I had never changed a few of the photos, most are new besides, one of me and his mom at his communion, and one of him and me from the day he was trying to teach me how to skate board, I had not got the hang of it and was frustrated, when our parents came out to check how my progress was coming along, they had brought the camera out, trying to get an action shot of me on the skate board, only I was just sitting on it with my arms crossed, they thought it was funny to antagonize me, by taking a photo while I was that grumpy, only Jayden swooped in before they could, hooked his arm around me the result was this photo where I'm all sulky and Jayden is there by my side looking at me, not towards the camera, its definitely not a flattering photo of me, but I could never quite bring myself to take it down.
Jayden comes and sits on the bed, telling me he remembers that day, the bruising on his jaw has started to fade and his lips are back to there normal size, his hair is a sweat mess, I remember I still have his jumper and as much as I dont want to give it back I probably should, I hop off the bed and retrieve it, as I give it back he asks
"why do you look so sad?" I pause he's going to think I'm a psycho
"Ri?"
"Because I wear it to bed....it smells like you, although not so much anymore" he smiles is so big his dimples show, god how I love those dimples, then he pulls his freshly sweaty jumper off and tosses it towards my pillow
"there now your sorted for tonight" I am thrilled he seems to be into me wearing his sweaty clothes to bed instead of repulsed because his already taken a layer off I try for more, walking over to him I stand in between his legs, gabbing at the bottom of his top he lets me pull it up over his head, then I am a little lost Jayden with his shirt off I have seen, but we were at a beach and he would let it go anywhere, now his in my bedroom with his shirt off, I am tingling with anticipation, I kiss him hard, deep, feverishly, moving to straddle him, I've completely lost any sense of self control, so turned on, I start grinding against him felling him grow harder my hand moves to undo his pants, before I can he flips me over laying me on the bed, I'm panting breathless
"do you have a condom?" He shakes his head I'm slightly aware of how stupid I'm being but dont seem to be able to care
"okay I'm on the pill anyway" Jayden smiles laying over me his not crushing me, one arm holding himself up so as not to crush me, he strokes my cheek with his other hand tenderly, before telling me we are not having sex.
Completely vexed by this I can't help the dark storm of emotion brewing, I want to move however because of the position we are in, I can only move my head looking towards the wall, I will myself to not be as upset as I am, over what he just said
"Ri" hi whispers
"Ri, look at me" he gently coaxes me to finally look at him, when I do all my disappointment flys away, his look at me with equal parts lust and concern as he say
"it's not that I dont want to, lets just take it slow" kissing me I can feel the neediness of our kiss who's more desperate in this moment, I couldn't tell you, he shifts his weigh to the side and undoes my pants, I help by sliding them down my legs and kicking them off, Jayden's hands wrap around grabbing my ass, kissing his hands slowly move to my hip, I can tell he wants to do more, he grabs my hip hard, as if to stop himself from moving them further, as his tongue dips into my mouth he becomes as lost as I already am, his hands slide over my hips down to my sex, rubbing it, moaning into my mouth, as he feels me through the thin cotton, its driving me insane, I want to feel more of him, I lead his hand where I want them, by sliding both out hands into my underwear, his fingers lightly rub my exposed lips and the feeling is otherworldly, my legs involuntary spread wider and Jayden deepen the kiss as his finger circles my entrance, before pushing inside, my eyes widen at this, Jayden stops moving, his fingers frozen in place as he asks me if I'm okay, the feeling is foreign but not to unpleasant, I can't speak, I've forgotten how to, instead answering him with a kiss, his fingers start moving in a pleasurable rhythm again, this is all so new to me, I dont understand what is happening, my body floods with heat, I feel myself clench around Jayden, a wave of pure pleasure washes over me, I'm moaning and trying to form words, even to my ears they are incomprehensible, completely shattered I lay spent, Jayden removes his finger slowly and gently, I'm so sensitive it hurts a little as he does.
