We ALL have secrets.
Like not liking your best friend as much as you used to; but you don't dare to tell her because she holds reputations like an eggshell, if she moves a finger, you're broken.
The usual stuff.
Even my little sister has secrets. Like she thinks no one knows who drew that flower on her bedroom walls. I knew. But i kept my mouth shut. Because those type of secrets do not matter. Not really. They're short-lived. Like insects or shad flies. Alive for just a day.
But some secrets aren't like shad flies. They're monstrous things, like a babies body hidden inside the wall of the abandoned house on the corner of the street you live on. Waiting to be found.
If i had known how he was - how I was - would it have changed a thing ?
Or would i have still felt a weight on my shoulders, forcing the air out of my lungs, so that when i saw him for even just a millisecond, I would struggle to catch my breath ?
Would I have lost hours, days, nights of needed sleep, thinking about his brown eyes, his smiles, his lips, the way his hair curled at the side of his face? Would I still had fallen in love ?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But that's it: I didn't know ...
