Somewhere in the Avenue (Velez Cousins Series #1)

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Slow

I have been concealing all kinds of romantic thoughts for years now. I always thought that I am too young for such things and that I am just infatuated. "Those are just infatuations", I used to say it to myself before blocking all kinds of thoughts.

At such a young age, I already know what that means. And because of that, I feared it. I witnessed how a simple infatuation can ruin something big. I saw my Mom being infatuated and cheated behind my Dad's back. It wasn't a secret anymore since Mom spilled the tea just for Dad to sign the divorce papers.

People might laugh at me for being afraid of being infatuated but I have my reasons. Infatuations aren't deep-rooted feelings. They will eventually come and go. It may sound harmless but we don't know what we can do when we're infatuated. It can ruin someone's happiness, someone's dreams, someone's...childhood.

And yes, I was talking about myself.

Mom's infatuation to a number of men ruined our family. And I don't want the same thing to happen to me. Sure, I might be a little more overreacting but the pain it caused me was too much to bear when I was a child. It scarred my heart, making me afraid of such feelings.

I may act strong, pero mabilis akong umiyak kapag nasasaktan. I am always feisty-looking and viewed as someone who's tough, but they are wrong. They didn't know the foundations of my toughness. I need to go through so much pain and trauma back in my childhood before I was able to reach my strongest. I know I haven't talk a lot about what happened in the past because I don't want to remember it all.

I remember promising myself that if I ever fall in love with someone, I will love that someone unconditionally. I will always find a reason to stay by his side. I will never be like my parents' love story that's full of infatuations. So, the question is...am I ready to open the tightly-closed barrel, where I locked all the romantic thoughts and feelings? Am I ready to face the probability of being infatuated?

"No?" Deonell repeated what I said a while ago.

My train of thoughts was cut off. Napatingin ako sa kaniya at sinalubong ako ng kaniyang mga mata. His eyes darkened as he stared at me full of meaning. He blew an ample amount of air out of his mouth before I heard him click his tongue.

"I am not asking for your permission so your rejection is invalid. I am just telling you this to inform you that I like you and I will court you." mariin pa rin ang titig niya sa'kin.

Umawang ang labi ko sa sinabi niya. I badly wanna tell him that he got it all wrong. That's not what I meant when I said "no" to him. Gusto kong sumabat pero may pangamba na naman ako.

"Deonell..." 'yan lang ang nasabi ko sa kaniya.

Can't you believe it? It's still early in the morning pero ganito na ang pinag-uusapan naming. I wasn't even wearing casual clothes, just a shirt and some PJs!

Deep inside, the tightly-closed barrel was waiting to be opened. Someone was whispering on my right ear to open it already but someone was telling me not yet. Is he really serious right now? Is he sure that he's not just infatuated? Bakit umiiba ang pakiramdam ko sa tanong na 'to? Bakit ayaw kong malaman ang sagot?

"If you're going to reject me again, save your breath. I'm not interested in hearing any of it." masungit niyang sabi at humalukiphip.

Umiling ako, walang masabi. I can't decide right now. But, I couldn't deny how fast my heartbeats are. Once again, he managed to make my heart beats fast. His sudden confession early in the morning... I can't still unable to process it. I have so many questions in mind but none seems to come out from my mouth. I was utterly speechless and frozen from my spot.