Never Getting Back Together

TWENTY-ONE

I pull Betty's Prius into the parking lot. Fields of sunflowers surround the barn, glowing in the rays of the setting sun. Warm, golden light spills out the barn doors and across the asphalt. The twangy melody of a country song fills the night air. Parking, I do a quick check of my makeup in the rearview. I swipe a finger under my eyes to get rid of any mascara smudges and apply another layer of lipgloss. Then I toss the keys and tube of gloss in my clutch and scramble out of the car. I'm unsurprisingly late, but this time I had a good reason.

After my sorry excuse for a class this morning, I stopped by to make sure everything was ready for the dance. The barn hasn't been home to any farm animals in years. The owners realized long ago that it was more lucrative to use the rustic, old building to host events like weddings, birthday parties, and the annual Founder's Festival Dance.

By the time I arrived, Ty and Giselle already had the punch and brownies chilling in the kitchen's refrigerators. The event staff had lined the dance floor with strategically stacked bales of straw, which they used to hold up the poles for the twinkle lights, zig-zagging above the room.

I sat down on one of the bales to call Liv and make sure she and Betty would be back in time for the dance. They drove over to the neighboring town of River Hollow, to hit up the diner there for Waffle Wednesday. By the time Liv confirmed they'd be here, my legs had begun to itch. When I hung up and checked my calves, they were covered in red, angry welts. Apparently, straw is yet another item to add to my ever-growing list of things I react to.

It took two showers, a lot of Benadryl cream, and a few ice packs to get my skin to calm down. By the time I was dressed and hive-free, the dance had already started.

I slam the car door behind me and speed walk across the lot. Even though I was here earlier, the sight of the dance floor takes my breath away. All lit up, the place is magical. It's like the country version of A Midsummer's Night Dream. The giant beams of the ceiling glow in the lights. The worn wood flooring reverberates with the footsteps of couples swaying together. The earthy scent of dried grass and lavender lingers in the air. The atmosphere is enchanting, as though the joy in the room is contagious.

I spot Giselle at the refreshment table and cut a path over to her. Rows of brownies are set out on napkins on one side of the table. A large punch bowl sits on the other, which Giselle's keeping a careful eye on. Her gaze keeps flicking from the bowl to Chance, who's standing just feet away, watching the dancers. Smart woman. Sure as a football in an end zone, that punch would be spiked if Chance was left alone with it.

"Hey," I say to Giselle. "What can I help with?"

I texted her earlier, so she knows why I'm late, but I still feel bad.

Giselle tears her eyes away from Chance to examine me. She takes in my off-white, lace mini dress. It has bell sleeves, and I've matched it with an old pair of Betty's cowgirl boots. Liv curled my hair in wild waves while I lathered up in Benadryl cream. I can never style the messy look myself. My need for precision only allows me to curl it in neat rolls. I do love the full, chaotic way it looks tonight, though. Like I'm a girl who doesn't have the weight of chronic illness and mounting medical expenses resting on her shoulders.

"You look beautiful," Giselle says. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better. Sorry I'm late. I was planning to help with all of this." I gesture at the table laden with goodies.

"Don't worry about it." Giselle flaps a dismissive hand. "You're young. You should be out there dancing. Not hanging out over here with this oldie moldy."

"You're hardly old," I say, even though I'm not sure how old Giselle is. She's one of those people who are timeless. She could pass for anything between twenty-nine and forty-five.

I glance around as the deep voice of Kane Brown floods the room. Aaron Martinez and Pete Winchester sway together in the corner of the dance floor. Kelvin is spinning Liv around and around in circles. She's cackling with laughter as she wobbles in her high-heeled boots. Betty's arms are around Al's shoulders, and she's beaming up at him. Interesting.

Betty never brings men home, so I've only seen her look at someone like that one other time. And that was only because Liv and I accidentally caught her making out with the guy in the driveway when he dropped her off after their date. I have to admit, Al is pretty dashing tonight. He's traded his usual t-shirt for a crisp button-down, and his salt-and-pepper hair's been combed back.

I can't find the one face I'm searching for in the sea of people, though. I haven't stopped thinking about Ty asking me to save him a dance. Liv and I analyzed his words over and over again as she curled my hair. I insisted that he must have only said that to be nice since he probably felt bad after finding me sitting alone in my classroom. Liv said I was being stupid and that it was obvious Ty's still into me.

I'm not sure which explanation I want to be true more. On the one hand, admitting I'm still into Ty is the understatement of the century. That boy sets my soul on fire anytime he comes near me. But I don't know if I'm ready to go there again. Not when I still don't understand how he could have left without a goodbye or why he's back now.

My clutch vibrates, and I fish out my phone. The screen glows with my daily Janet text.

Janet: Take the risk or lose the chance.

I think the message is meant to give me a boost of inspiration about the Happy Spoons Grant. But right now, dancing with Ty feels like the bigger risk. The idea of being that close to him has me tangled up in more knots than Rapunzel's hair.

"Have you seen Ty?" I ask Giselle, trying to play it cool like I couldn't care less. I must fail, though, because she gives me a sideways smirk, eyes sparkling suggestively.

"Yeah, I've seen him. He's looking very handsome too." She watches me carefully, gauging my reaction.

"Good for him." I tuck my phone back in my bag and run a hand through my hair, avoiding her eyes. I know Giselle's interested in my love life because she cares about me. But I'm not ready for the whole town to be up in my business with Ty, especially when I have no idea where we stand.

"Oh, hey. Isn't that him over—" Giselle cuts off abruptly. She bites her lower lip as though she'd like to unsay those words. Her eyes dart over to me, and there's something like pity there. My stomach bottoms out.

I turn my gaze to the part of the dance floor she was looking at, and sure enough, there's Ty. Giselle wasn't wrong about how handsome he is. He's wearing a blue and tan plaid shirt tucked into a pair of faded jeans. His belt is the same shade as the boots I know he bought the summer he worked out on the Jones's ranch. He also seems very preoccupied.

Kallie Baker's arms are around him. Her fingers trace the fine hairs at the base of his neck as they move to the music. My own fingers tingle, remembering how it felt to touch him like that. I can only see Ty's back, but Kallie's grinning up at him with stars in her eyes. He says something, and she bursts out laughing before looping her arms more tightly together, pulling him closer.

My eyes flood with unshed tears, and I fight to swallow them down. I don't know what I expected from tonight. For us to finally sort through the wreckage of our former love life and start building something new? For Ty to say he still wants to be with me? I'm not even sure I want those things. But whatever I thought would happen, it never crossed my mind that I'd find him here, dancing with another girl like she's...well, like she's me from three years ago.

My chest constricts, and it's getting hard to breathe. "Giselle, I, uh, left something in my car. I'll be right back."

"Okay, sweetheart. Take your time." Giselle's voice is filled with sympathy. It undoes me. A single tear breaks free, trickling down my cheek.

I train my eyes on the distressed planks of the floor and hustle toward the door. I can't help peeking over at Ty and Kallie one last time as I rush past them. When I do, Ty's staring right at me. He takes in my expression, and his smile drops, forehead creasing with worry.

I snap my gaze forward and practically run out the door. I barely make it outside before the tears start to fall in earnest.