Chapter 37

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I want to scream.

My mind searches desperately for solutions. There has to be a solution. But it comes up empty.

"Where are you going?" I ask quietly.

"Louisiana."

Louisiana?!

"It doesn't mean things have to end," he says immediately, grasping my hands, but I'm still frozen.

"When will you come back?" I ask, not knowing if I even want to hear the answer.

He goes silent. "I don't know. He'll need someone to take care of him after the surgery."

If it wasn't broken already, my heart breaks.

"And then you'll go to LSU," I say. It's not a question.

"Maybe," he admits. "I don't... I haven't even had time to think about it. I'm sorry, Amelia."

"You may never come back," I say in realization. "And even if you do, there's only a short time before we go to college."

"I'm sorry, Amelia, but I can't leave him alone. He's fucked up but he's still my dad!" he exclaims.

"I'm not asking you to!" I place a hand on my forehead.

He lowers his voice. "We can make it work," he insists. "I'm still gonna visit and... maybe I don't have to go to LSU."

Every part of me wants to tell him to stay. To tell him to give up LSU and try to work things out with me but I can't.

"You do," I tell him. "That's what you've worked for. I'm not going to let you give that up."

"There's other good schools for football. UPenn..."

"You can't choose UPenn just for me. I don't even know if I'll get in," I say.

"So what are you saying? You wanna break up? Because we both know there's no point in doing long distance if we're never going to be together."

"No, I don't want to break up but I'm being realistic. You can't choose your college just for us to be together. If it doesn't kill you, it'll kill me!" I exclaim.

He starts to calm down. "Okay, then do you wanna apply to LSU because you'll sure as hell get in." I can tell by his voice that we both know that's not an option.

"Zack..." I say.

His eyes are determined. "We can do it. I love you, Amelia."

"I love you, too. I just... I don't wanna feel us fade away," I say. He brushes away a tear I didn't even know I shed.

"We won't," he says in his sure fashion. "You're with me, right?"

"I'm with you," I whisper. We have to at least try. This is worth at least trying. His body relaxes as he pulls me into his chest. "When do you have to leave?"

There's a pause. "Next week," he answers regretfully.

I close my eyes in pain. "That soon?"

"I'm going first," he explains. I can't bear to look at him. "My mom and Tommy are gonna come later."

"One week..." I repeat to myself, trying to make sense of it all.

"Amelia." He takes my face in his hands, the first time I've looked at him. "All I know is I want to spend every second I have left here with you." A small smile graces his lips. "I'll even watch Little Women with you."

I give him a remorseful look but it's weak. "I don't like you," I let out, trying not to tear up.

He pulls me in closer. "I know."

A/N: reads, votes, comments r so appreciated. I wish I could hug u all!

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