JENLISA STUFF

I Don't Wanna Love You Anymore

Lisa's POV

It's been months since the last time I saw her. 

I should've known that I wasn't the one that she really loves. I love her too much to the point that I got blinded by my own feelings for her. No she's not a bad person, in fact, she's the sweetest and kindest of all, and I miss her. 

I miss how I would sleep every night with her in my arms and would wake up everyday with her still on my arms. I miss loving the sheets every time her dark hair is scattered against the white. I miss watching her get dressed in our bedroom. The dates, cuddles and little movie nights that we had are still fresh in my memories, but so are the bad ones that happened between us.

I tried to find an answer, I tried begging for you to stay, and you did, but not to long cause you quickly changed your mind and turned your back against me. Walking out from our house and never coming back. 

I would be lying to myself if I say that I don't love you anymore, cause we both know that I still do. Sometimes I just wanna talk for a minute or two, but every single time that I gain courage for doing so, I still can't bring myself to call. Because even if you would answer the call, I know that your heart's not really in it, and whatever we had is long gone. 

Flashback

It's raining, the weather is turning bad and so is our argument. We've been fighting a lot these past few weeks, and our problem has always been the cliché "my-partner-still-loves-her-ex-kind-of-problem". 

"Lisa, for the hundredth time already, we're just friends, nothing more." Jennie said as she's controlling herself from bursting out.

"Call me childish Jen, but friends don't kiss each other on the lips. From what I know she's your ex girlfriend." I said calmly even if I'm already fuming inside.

I let out a sigh as a scratched my head in disbelief, I know this conversation will always end up with us not talking for days. I already knew she's screwing her ex behind my back, but I stayed silent because I don't wanna lose her. Heck I am afraid of losing her, and what she said next shattered my heart into a million pieces.

"Lisa, as much as I don't want us to fight and argue again, but I think it's better for us to break up." 

Silent.

I just stared at her with a blank expression as I felt betrayed. I know that our relationship will come to an end someday, but I was too inlove with her to the point that I wished and hoped too much that this was all just a nightmare that would disappear when I wake up. 

"All this time, I know that it's still her. I know that I was just one of the chapters and options in your life."

"It's not like that Lis I-

"No Jen, if you're happy with her, then who am I to keep you away from your happiness? You know that I always want what's best for you right?" I asked as I look at her with a blur in my eyes, due to these tears that I've been holding. She kept her head down, something that she does whenever she knows that what I'm saying is right.

"I know you love her more than me, so that's why I'm setting you free." She looked up and tried to say something but I stopped her, I sadly smiled at her and motion for her that she's free to go. 

And she did go.

She slowly walked away from me, and I just stand there from where she left me. Hoping that she would at least turn her head to look at me or made up her mind and go back to me. But instead, she kept walking till she disappeared from my sight. 

And that's how my world became dull and colorless.

End of flashback.

I laughed bitterly as I played that scene in my head. From the start, I always thought that she's the one, but I guess the universe isn't on my side in this lifetime. 

I unconsciously picked up my phone and dialed her number, at this point I don't care about whatever's going to happen right now. 

After a few rings, she picked up and answered,

"Hello?"

"Jennie"

"Lisa? Why are you calling?"

"I love you Jennie. I still do, and I'd never thought that I would say this before but..."

I stayed silent for a minute. 

I took a deep breath and finally said,

"I don't wanna love you anymore"

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