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LuxeLopez: Something big is happening @LuxeGlass
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I have invited my parents over so that I can talk to my them about my news but before I tell them, I need to talk to my daughter.
Michael was against me having this conversation with Maya but as her mother, I need to be the one to tell her. We have been through this situation before and she was left in the care of Katy who then gave her to Nia when she couldn't cope.
This is quite literally going to be the fight for my life and I want her to be prepared for any outcome. I don't want to be that person who promises to physically be there when I know that I likely will not be.
"Let's go to your special room." I tell Maya as I scoop her into my arms. Even though she is heavier, she is still my baby girl and I'm going to make every moment last.
As we enter the room that I created for us, a smile grows on both of our faces. For two years, Maya and I have been coming to this room every other day to have girl time. Thankfully the males in this house have respected our privacy and they never come in here.
I set her down on the swinging pink bed before I sit down besides her.
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"Maya, I love you so much." I smile down at her and she places her hand on mine.
"I love you too, mommy." She surprises me by giving my hand a small squeeze, it's as if she knows that I'm hurting.
"Mommy isn't feeling too good." I softly tell her and her eyes grow more curious. "Remember when mommy was in the white bed and you had to go stay with aunt Katy."
Maya nods her head but I don't know if she really remembers.
"Mommy is going back to the hospital, she's going back to the white bed." I whisper and Maya surprises me even more by covering her mouth in shock.
Her gesture makes me break down into tears which soon makes her cry and she throws her arms around me. I keep my arms tightly wrapped around my daughter as we cry with eachother. I'm trying to be as strong as I can but knowing that I may be gone soon breaks my heart.