Lock and Key

Dance Again

"Is this your first time in therapy?" the woman asked. She had told Grace her name when she first entered and Grace honestly felt really bad that she hadn't absorbed it. She'd have to ask her about it and it would definitely be awkward that she couldn't remember something as simple as the woman's name. Grace was so caught up in her train of thought that she'd completely blocked out the question.

"I'm sorry can you repeat what you just said?" Grace responded. The woman still looked calm, dark brown eyes sparkling behind her glasses.

"I asked if you'd ever been to therapy before." she explained. Grace shifted uncomfortably on the brown leather couch in this woman's office. What was her name, Nicole? Natalie? Grace still couldn't remember. The answer to the question she'd asked was annoyingly complicated for a first question. Grace was fairly sure that the train didn't count as therapy. She honestly felt she was kind of worse off when she left then when she'd gotten on. Then again at least she could stand up to her parents, so, progress? Grace decided that the train was probably more akin to reverse therapy and gave her answer.

"No, this is my first time." she said quietly. She gripped onto the couch as if it would somehow anchor her. She had wanted this, specifically asked for it, and yet it all still felt so terrifying. The woman (Naomi, Nia?) marked down what she had said.

"Well Grace, I'll just give you a quick rundown. Legally, I am required to report if you are having suicidal or homicidal ideations as well as if you are having auditory or visual hallucinations. Are you having any of those things?" Grace shook her head, the therapist wrote it down. "Other than those things everything we discuss in these sessions will be completely private, and the rest of the time is yours to discuss whatever you want." Grace nodded and took a deep breath and tried to think of where to begin. On the one hand this woman was a therapist, listening to other peoples trauma was her job. On the other hand it felt kind of wrong to jump into torture without some build up.

Seeing that she was struggling the woman offered up a suggestion. "We don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to, but if you don't know what to say, we could begin by talking about your hobbies." she said. Grace took a deep breath, hobbies, that was good, she could do that.

"I like to dance." Grace said. The woman nodded and smiled asking another question.

"Any particular type of dancing you like to do?" she said. Grace expanded.

"I like to dance ballet. But I haven't done it in a while." she added. Grace expected the woman to immediately push on this and ask her why. But she didn't, simply scribbling what Grace had said down and replying.

"That sounds nice." she said but didn't add anything else. It was Grace who took the conversation to the next level.

"Don't you want to know why I stopped dancing for a while?" Grace asked. Nora,(or was it Naya) nodded and gave her answer.

"If you feel comfortable telling me." she said. Grace felt nice being the one to set the pace at least a little. She wasn't being forced to talk about this, she wanted to talk about this.

"My leg was broken, so I've had a cast for the last five months, I just got it off yesterday." she said. Grace looked down at her healed leg and moved it around slightly. It felt so odd to be without a cast when she'd grown so accustomed to having a splint, and then a cast, on for almost half a year. Considering she'd just got it off yesterday she hadn't really had any time to brush up on her dancing, but it was nice to know she now had the option.

"How do you feel about having your cast off?" she asked. Grace thought it was an odd question but answered anyway.

"I feel good. When I had my cast on I felt very vulnerable, very...weak." was the answer she gave. Grace didn't know why she hesitated, it wasn't like she was revealing some big secret by saying that being injured had made her feel weak. But it felt like a triumph to get it out nonetheless.