dear diary,
do you realize that you actually pass by your soulmate every once in a while, well some don't. maybe their soulmates are in different places, maybe they're gone. we never know.
but i really do hope that i pass my soulmate, if you know who i mean. ever since that day he ignored my chat, i was always thinking. what if i pass by him, will he notice me? i looked for ways to pass him but i couldn't find any possibilities of him noticing. the girl he started to like, started to talk to other boys, yeah, a 'more than friends' type of thing.
as a person, i couldn't tell him. even if my feelings were in the way, i couldn't. i haven't gathered that much pride for that, also i didn't have any proof, which was absolutely stupid of me. either way i'd rather leave him be.
another part of me still cares for him. who would let anyone let the person they love get hurt, he loved her like any other person, while i don't even stand a chance.
i've made up my mind. i'm opening my account. not today, though. i still have to go to school tomorrow. it's already 2 am too.
i guess the world isn't fair at all. the way the people compares one to another, the big and small things, the rich and the poor, the day and the night. things really aren't fair as it is supposed to be. we cant really put everything that way, in that case the way people would see things are different.
how do i put this?
i know i'm going to be super cringe but bear with me, my thoughts can't be put together.
if the world would be fair, then would it be okay? would the toxic mindsets or the suicidal people would be fine? likewise, we don't know the answer. we CAN'T know the answer. perhaps in my intuition is different.
no.
being fair is still unfair. nothing in this world would ever be fair. just like how the rich looks down on the poor. how the pretty drop their words on the unsighty. how the loved always gets forward than the unloved. idk. its so weird. even if it becomes fair, still nothing changes.
by the means of fair, it means the achievements or some shits. even if everyone is rich, we can still look down on each other. we compete for the first place, and forget how we get there. we tend to forget the things, the people that made us go there. .
ugh, i'm talking nonsense again. i want someone to slap me back to reality,
well, i haven't talked about today. i just kept babbling about the words in my mind.
today, someone transferred to the neighborhood. mom said they came from the city. gago si mama eh, irereto daw niya ako sa lalaking anak nila. of course i refuse, i only love one person and one person only.
we get to meet them tomorrow, by the way. aunt is a member of the councils, maybe she wants us to meet them? kasi malapit lang bahay?
hoping that it turns out well, wouldn't want mama to have a enemy. lols.
i guess that's all for today.
by boring, bland, stupid,
kamie veloso.
