"Instinctively we naturally
want to guard or protect
something we view
as precious."
~~Sunday Adelaja
****************
~~Bryce~~
Several hours had passed by since Andi had collapsed in the middle of the book store, her skin ghostly white as she flailed and screamed. The manager of Binding Words had called an ambulance as I had tried to calm Andi, my attempts going ignored by the belligerent girl in my arms. Her wild eyes and panicked screams had ripped through me like shards of glass with each second that ticked away, my prayers for relief going unanswered until we had arrived at the hospital.
Rory had met us in the ER, quickly diffusing the situation between the staff and I, then easing her little sister's distress while I stood by helplessly. I had witnessed episodes like this many times over the years since that fatal night, but nothing had ever been like this except for the first few months afterward. It was like she had been thrown back into those early days where she was physically experiencing the attack all over again.
My heart ached as I held her close, the dimly lit bedroom casting odd shadows across the room. I could hear the distant sounds of Rory downstairs, china clinking and silverware rattling as she worked on whatever comfort she had planned. Sighing, my arms tightened around the trembling girl beside me, gently kissing the top of her head. Andi hadn't said a word in hours, her stormy eyes haunted as tears silently slipped down her cheeks.
"I'm here, baby girl," I whispered, resting my head atop her's. "I'm not going anywhere."
Andi nodded, but no words left her mouth as she pressed herself closer to me. I hated this! I hated not knowing what had happened, or how to fix it. It was my job to be there for her and I had failed horribly, with no idea how to take her pain away.
It was something I had struggled with since the night I had found the two sisters, broken and dying in their childhood home. I wasn't supposed to be there but Andi had forgotten her phone so I had told the driver to take me back. Closing my eyes, I let the memory play across my thoughts, unable to shake the feeling of failure from my mind.
Part of me knew that I had only been a thirteen year old boy, but I wasn't like other boys my age and never had been. My childhood had been filled with training, ruthless violence to harden the boy into a man and prepare me for a future that ran in my veins. Because of that, I knew the moment I had stepped out of that car that something was terribly wrong. I should have walked her to the door, I should have done so many things differently that night. If I had, then maybe Andi would have been okay.
The light click of Andi's bedroom door opening had both of us snapping back to reality and our gazes flicking towards it. Rory came in with a tray filled with three steaming coffee mugs and a plate of cookies, a forced smile plastered on her face.
"Look what I brought, hot chocolate and some chocolate chip cookies," she said with false cheer as she placed the tray beside the bed. "The perfect recipe for happy thoughts."
She handed each of us a mug of hot chocolate, the porcelain warm against my palm as I leaned my head back against the headboard. I was emotionally and physically exhausted even though I hadn't been the one to experience the ordeal, only watching it happen from the sidelines.
Andi repositioned herself slightly so she could take a tentative sip of her drink, my freehand moving to her thigh to absently rub circles over the outside of the flannel pants she had changed into after we got back. No one spoke, Rory taking a seat on the end of Andi's bed and I could see the gears turning inside her head as she studied her baby sister. She wanted to say something but after glancing at me she seemed to change her mind, opting instead to reach for the drawer on the nightstand.
"Andi, you know you can talk to us," Rory said gently as she pulled out a small pill bottle, "whenever you're ready."
"I know," Andi whispered brokenly, the first words she had uttered in hours.
When Andi didn't offer anything more, Rory sighed and dumped two small, white pills into the palm of her hand. "You need to take your medicine. You'll feel better in the morning."
Andi took the pills from her sister without argument, tears slipping over her lashes and down her pale cheeks as she washed them down. She placed her mug on the small table and snuggled back against my side with her head resting on my chest. Moving carefully, I set my mug beside hers and pulled her comforter over the both of us.
"I guess I'll be staying here tonight," I told Rory with an attempted smile, making it sound like a request even though we both knew there was no way I was leaving Andi's side any time soon.
"Yeah... I guess so," Rory agreed quietly, her eyes going back to her sister.
Thoughts tried to ricochet around the inside of my head but I forced myself to focus on the steady rise and fall of Andi's ribs beneath my hand as I wrapped an arm around her. Rory lingered in the room for a few minutes longer until Andi's breathing became more rhythmic as sleep began to creep towards her.
My eyes followed Rory as she carefully stood from the bed and tiptoed across the room. She was almost out the door when I felt Andi tense beside me, her small voice breaking the silence of the room.
"Rory?" she called out, barely above a whisper.
Andi's older sister paused in her steps, looking over her shoulder with sadness and worry in her green eyes.
"It was him," Andi whispered, her eyes fluttering closed as the words left her mouth. "It was him, Rory, and he smiled at me."
Each syllable left my body chilled but my blood burning with vengeful anger and I couldn't help but look back at Rory as she stood completely frozen in the doorway. Her knuckles were white as they gripped the knob, her jaw clenched so tight that her teeth might break as she stared wide eyed at her now sleeping sister. Something dark flashed in her eyes, a look I recognized but never expected to see in those light green orbs, a look I had only ever seen on the face of a monster that passed for a man.
The expression was gone so quick I almost believed I had imagined it, but I knew in my gut that I hadn't. My instincts told me the truth even if my mind struggled to process what I knew as reality. Rory met my eyes, a fire smoldering on the surface of her irises.
"Let me know if either of you need anything," she said, her voice low and carefully even.
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak especially with the sleeping girl using my chest as a pillow. As the door clicked shut behind her, I let the thoughts run loose inside my head. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for the fragile angel clutched in my arms and I needed to figure out my next move if what she said was actually true.
Andi couldn't know about any of this, not my suspicions about her older sister that had raised her for the last six years, and not about me or the things I was willing to do for her. Part of me hated that I had to keep such a big part of who I was a secret from her, and at one point in time I had planned on telling her. But after finding her that night and watching her suffer for so long afterwards while the happy girl she used to be became a mask, I couldn't do it. If I did then it would break her more than she already was and I had already let her get hurt enough from my shortcomings.
Noises came from downstairs and I could picture Rory moving about the house, stress cleaning like I had noticed she tended to do. I lay there listening to her repetitive movements and then to her talking in hushed tones to Nik when she finally came home. From the sound of Nik's hissed responses, she was obviously angry that no one had tried to contact her when Andi's episode had happened but there was nothing that could be done about that now.
