Tainted Salvation

9: Lucid Dreams

Author's Note:

Whoever recommended the song "Sleep Baby Sleep" by Broods, thank you so much! The song was perfect for this chapter.

NSFW, but not as heavy as the previous chapters. Please avoid this fic if you hate such things.

I finished this in around one week. I'm surprised at myself, haha.

Please avoid this story during school/work time. This fic will be there when you finish.

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What kind of Jung Tae Eul do I want to become from now on?

The question seeped into her brain ever since she returned to the palace after Lee Gon's accident.

Ever since he forcefully brought her to the kingdom and into his life, Tae Eul had lived in survival mode. She lived day to day since her first day there.

Let's survive this hour. Let's survive this day.

Things had changed. She fell for Lee Gon. Despite everything, after everything, her heart held onto him.

She might be an idiot. Lee Gon had hurt her more than anyone else had ever done in her entire life.

But she had come to a realization. She's Jung Tae Eul. Someone who was trained in Taekwondo even before she learnt counting. She was a detective. She knew how to kill a man.

And she had the chance to do that ever since Lee Gon began sleeping with her. She was confident she could kill him in his sleep, had she wanted to.

But did she want him to die?

The answer was no.

Though she's alone in this kingdom, if she really wanted to run, even with his threat of killing people around her, she would still find a way.

She stopped trying or even thinking to escape ever since her first month there.

Soo Ryeong unnie had told her that asking "why" to oneself is often the best policy in self-discovery.

Why did she never try to kill him in his sleep?

Why did she never really try to run away?

Why did her world feel like it was ending, the night she heard he had the car accident?

It was obvious, wasn't it?

She loved him.

That's the truth. Even if she wanted to deny it, she wouldn't be able to.

She had judged herself until she felt physically ill.

Where was her self-respect? Where was her dignity? How could she loved a sinner who had hurt her?

Lee Gon might have his sins, but she had spent enough time in Goryo to open her eyes to his good deeds as well.

He loved his kingdom and his people. Goryo had the fourth highest GDP in the world. Education was funded entirely by the government. Health facilities were the best in Asia. Crime rates were very low, and people lived in prosperity.

He's a good king to his people.

Perhaps she fell for his possessiveness. Or his inability to show his feelings and weakness.

Maybe she wanted to save him from committing more sins.

She probably wanted to bring him to the light.

Perhaps...... Maybe...... Probably........

Tae Eul took a deep breath, her hand automatically caressing her baby bump.