Spy School: Danger is my Middle Name

The Day off, Continued

The chaos started when Mike decided that the Hollywood Rip Ride Rocket was an easy-to-hack system, then rigged all of the speakers in the roller coaster to play Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' at max volume.

Yeah, a typical day, huh?

We didn't realize that he had gone on a rampage until we were at the best part of the ride, mid-fall, and suddenly the familiar voice and background beat started blasting into my ears at full volume. That would probably be a memorable moment- especially because we had gotten rickrolled on a roller coaster.

Mike had somehow managed to get his hands on the mainboard of the ride, tapping into the servers and immediately setting up his wicked plan. And that was the tame part of the day.

Soon afterward, Chip decided to tap into the walkie-talkie radio system of the security guards and give them a 24-hour white noise montage of him screaming on a thrill ride. Yeah, we almost got caught on that one, but Chip could conceal his identity real well. He got off just as a hidden felon.

The third act of illegal business was when Jawa 'accidentally guessed' the password for a secret room holding a lot of exotic animals near the exhibits. I had warned them that she shouldn't be getting into more trouble (unless, of course, they wanted to get arrested), and at that point, I was pretty much just ignoring their acts.

When I realized what he had done, I got the heck out of there before I ended up with a Black Mamba hanging onto my skin. The worst-case scenario was that I'd get thrown up as a partner-in-crime by them, and in that case, I would immediately deny everything.

In the conclusion, it all wound up with Jawa and Mike with a resort of animals on the loose around the theme park. The day concluded early (after about two hours of us having fun) and the theme park closed due to the fact that there was a chance people would get bitten by a poisonous animal.

I blamed everything on the rest of the gang. Me, Jayden, Cly, and James got off as innocents, but everyone else was the culprit for causing much mischief.

"Look what you've done," I said in resignation, staring out the window solemnly in the Uber we'd called. "You've virtually ruined our day."

James sighed along with me. "Indeed."

"Alright, alright," Mike admitted along with Jawa. "I have to say, we did do some unappreciated things at the theme park. But it was all in good fun, eh?"

Nobody agreed with them, as usual. 

"It wasn't fun, at least for us," I shrugged. "We just stood by and watched. Nothing happened."

"That's because you weren't willing to come help us do anything!" Chip complained.

"Hey, it's not like I want to be arrested myself!" I countered. "We're spies! What do you expect, us to break the law regularly?"

"I expect you two to have some sense of humor, at least?" Mike whined. "A spy always needs something like that to lighten the mood, don't you think?"

"Not if you're going to break the law," James said. "We've arrived back at the hotel, so if you want to argue further, say it to Ben. I'm done with you troublemakers."

I sighed. "Don't talk smack to me. All I wanted was a day of good rest, and this is what I get? I need some extra sleep, if that's what you have."

Before I counter the hotel, though, something hit me.

"Mike," I said uneasily. "If you closed the theme park, doesn't that mean some of the girls are off from their work?"

And as soon as this came out of my mouth, Erica Hale herself pounced out from the shadows.

Mike screamed, rubbing his bruise from the day before. He panicked, immediately diving for shelter in a nearby bush.

Erica, on the contrary, actually wasn't mad. Turning her head towards our fellow comrades, she smiled and gave a thumbs-up.

"Good job, spies. Closing the theme park was one of the most ingenious ways of delaying the bombing ever. Way to use your day off properly! Also, it gives us time to research evidence! Who's with me?"

Mike, Jawa, Chip, and the other troublemakers were clearly extremely relieved. Even though I had though of this situation to be possible, I didn't know Erica would actually compliment them. What I expected was a long rant about how they were being irresponsible. And maybe some nice lectures.

Instead, I never imagined this happened. It made me feel like, well... it made me feel like I wanted to break the law. What a crazy feeling. It was something that, of course, I wouldn't experience unless Erica complimented me. 

After this brief relief to the three stooges (or troublemakers), Erica quickly started giving us mission orders. I was actually pretty disappointed, because I had though this was our day off, not on.

After studying our looks, Erica sighed. "I'm suspecting that you guys don't really want to do duties on a day off. But remember, the only reason we've been sent here is to spy, not have fun and joke around."

Yeah, this was another disappointment, but we had to admit that it was correct. 

"So the only good part of the day left is lunch, dinner, and bedtime," Jayden whined as we headed back over to our original car. "Speaking of lunch, where are we going for our feast?"

Erica turned around from the driver's seat. "Your choice. I don't really care, neither does the rest of us."

"Alright, then we're going to Golden Corral!" Jayden exclaimed, pumping his fist. "Gonna drag out that midday break as long as I can!"

Erica rolled her eyes and set the GPS to the local Golden Corral in Central Florida. "Alright, if you say so."

I stared out the window and scooted closer to the edge of my seat. The day could only get worse, seeing that Jayden just established the climax of it. So I had nothing to hope for anymore. 

The positioning of the seats had been maximized for the least comfort possible: Chip squeezed directly next to me, Mike in the seat behind me (he had his feet on my chair), and Cly, James, and Zoe on the other side of the car. 

"Erica," Chip said when we stopped at a red light. "Can we stop at the gas station? I really need to go."

"No!" we all said abruptly. Nobody wanted to drag this trip longer than it should be, especially since Chip's B.O. was really starting to get my nose into nausea. 

"Please!" he pleaded, wringing his hands. "I need to go!"

Now, boys, I'm sure you've all experienced this I FREAKIN GOTTA GO NOW phenomenon, and I'm sure that you all know how painful it is. And I'm sure you also know the measures that teenagers will go to in order to clear their bladders.

"ONE BILLION BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, ONE BILLION BOTTLES OF BEER, TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND-"

"SHUT UP!!" we all screamed at Chip, who has started chortling his lungs out. 

Chip looked around at us and smiled. "Won't stop until I get to go to the bathroom."

Erica turned back to him. "Not going to crack even if we were going to be here for the rest of eternity."

And those words were basically the start of the rest of the roadkill torture. The rest of the ride consisted of Chip and Mike alternating horrid ballads of "Ninety-Nine Bottles of beer on the wall" until my ears started bleeding and Erica visibly trying to keep in her rage. I was afraid that Chip's voice box was going to be removed- and the feeling was genuine.

Yeah, I don't really want to describe torture anymore, since, if you've experienced torture before, you'd probably never want to relive it, much less elaborate about it during the experience itself. So I'm going to sign off until we get to Golden Corral, and see you there (of course, unless Dboy decides that handing the mic to somebody else is the best idea).

Also, just a sidenote: Dboy's paid everyone on his employee list already. If you receive any other sort of complaint saying that his paychecks to his spies are late, then just shrug it off as a lie.

This message was totally not paid for by me