𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙩𝙨 (𝙃.𝙥 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

Chapter 12

Y/n's POV

I woke up with the sun gleaming on my face noticing how early it was I look at Harry and see our bodies tangled up together. Feeling his warm self next to mine feels like home, I can stay like this forever and be happy.

The memories of last night came flooding back. And a smile crept on my face thinking of it all. I can't believe that he is finally all mine.

That was until I remember my father and Draco. What am I going to do? If I don't marry Draco I'll be a disappointment as usual. No matter what I do nothing will ever be enough for my father. Im at the top of all my classes, and I got the highest scores on my O.w.l.s, yet anything I do isn't enough.

I have to be at the top if I want to be in the ministry even if that's not what I want to do. I want to be an Auror but of course, my father thinks that's a stupid observation. I have to be this perfect pureblood witch that marries the almighty Draco Malfoy and has the perfect pureblood family.

I think that's why I act out at school, I drink and do drugs to get away from it all, but I make sure I don't make a fool of myself because if any reporters (especially that Rita skeeter's, I hate that dumb bitch) saw that it would go straight to my father and I'd be called an embarrassment to the L/n name as my father says about me.

Draco's the same way, that's why we get along so well. We understand each other and the expectations we have to uphold. I may not be as cruel or prejudice as him but I'm a bitch. To be honest I don't think being bitch a is so wrong.

Though Harry has sure changed me for the better. He's the only one I can't be mean to. He's just got this hold on me that no one's ever had. Yes, I hurt him badly but I thought it was for the better because he deserves better.

I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that boy.

It still astounds me that he wants me. Not for looks body or my name, he wants me. But I guess life doesn't want me to be happy. At the end of my 7th year, I have to marry Draco. It breaks my heart thinking I have let him go. I wish I could just run away with Harry, we could just get a little home with a beautiful garden and enough room for 3-4 kids. I've always wanted a big family, with someone I love and cherish.

I love Draco just not in the way I should. I love him so much but I'm not in love with him. I always thought love was always over-amplified but, that was until I met Harry. He showed me what it was to be in love, he showed me that we are one in this disastrous world. I just wish I wasn't Y/n, L/n.

As a tear trickles down my face, I look to Harry and stroke his hair while my other hand traces along his chest. I always seem to hurt him. I hate myself for everything I've done and going to do. He is everything I wish I was.
I wish I was brave but that's Harry, I'm just a selfish bitch, that will never deserve the boy that lays beside me.

I could leave him now and spare him falling even deeper but my selfishness doesn't want to. I'm scared to see the outcome of it all. I don't want to lose the one good thing that's in my dark world.

I need to talk to my father and Draco soon but for now, I'm just going to enjoy the time left I have with the one person I will ever love more than anything/anyone in the world.

I look up and kiss his jawline leaving kisses until I reach his lips. His beautiful soft pink lips that I can never get enough of. When he kisses back I would pull away and he'd groan but I don't want to pull away just yet. As our lips move together fitting perfectly as if they are missing puzzle pieces that finally found each other. I lace my fingers through his brown messy hair pulling us deeper in the kiss, I reluctantly pull away and look into his mesmerizing emerald eyes.

" Well good morning to you too, beautiful, " Harry says with a smirk

" Morning love, " I said smiling brightly at him trying to hide the fact that I was crying not too long ago. But of course, he knew something was wrong.

" What's wrong love? Having second thoughts about us becau-, " He starts to say but I cut off his sentence before he starts to panic.

" No, no, no love, I just.., " I say not knowing what the right words were. He strokes my hair waiting patiently for me to proceed. He knows it calms me.

I sigh and snuggle up closer while I put my head in the crook of his neck and said " I just want to stay in your arms forever, "

He chuckles and said, " That's what's got you all worked up? "

" Don't laugh at me, " I whine

He wraps his arms around my waist and holds me close while still laughing " You're so adorable, "

I scoff and said, " For wanting to be in my boyfriend's arms? "

He grins madly and says " Boyfriend, I love the sound of that, especially when it's coming out of you're mouth, "

I giggle and said " So do I, "

We stay cuddled up until we hear lily in the kitchen making breakfast. I was first to get up excited to tell lily that he said yes. Even though Harry didn't want us to get out of bed, but he found that I can be very persuasive.

Lily practically started jumping around saying finally and how she already sees me as a daughter.

I laugh and said thank you as we ate I was thinking of things Harry and I could do since it's summertime and we have absolutely nothing to do.

" Why don't you guys go into town, do some shopping, " Lily suggests

"That's perfect, what do you say, love," I ask

"Anywhere with you seems perfect to me," Harry replies

" you're so cheesy love," I retort while giggling

" He takes after James like that, " Lily says laughing

" I am not cheesy, " James says with his hand over his heart acting offended

We all laugh and continue our conversations. As I look at everyone's smiling faces trying to remember every moment I possibly can. Thinking this is my family or what would have been.