calum.
i sat down on my couch, happy to finally be able to sit down and relax. i just came home from work. and wanted to do nothing else but sleep away the next thirteen days. i had nothing to do, as both my family and friends were both nonexistent factors in my life. i wish they did exist, though.
being lonely was an absolutely horrible thing. regardless if you like being alone or not, human interaction is a nessacary thing for every single person. it might not seem like it's a very helpful thing to some, but it's extremely important to this world, and to the human's own mind.
for me, it was a problem of feeling utterly unwanted, and unimportant. with nothing to do, and nowhere to go, i felt as though my life meant nothing. this entire "living" thing seemed pointless. living means doing things and interacting with people. so far, i was doing neither of those.
when i try to go places and meet people, i always end up fucking myself over. im too shy, and never seem to know what to say. the last time i ever tried to go out and make a friend was a couple years ago, and it ended badly, scarring me still to this day. i dont like to think about it much, and i still havent told charlie about it, nor do i plan to.
i shook the glass i held in my hand gently, watching the deep red juice in it swish around. this is what ive become, this is all i am. an alcoholic who depends on his girlfriend twenty four seven to stay alive.
at that thought, i became sadder. i really do amount to nothing. it's not like i mean much to anyone, except charlie.
rolling my eyes, i downed the glass of wine within seconds, taking it easily. i was used to this by now.
all of a sudden, i heard a loud ringing come from my pocket. who woukd be calling me? probably charlie, i thought to myself.
i grabbed the phone out of my pocket, not even looking at the caller ID as i slid my thumb across the screen.
"hello?" i called into the phone.
"hi, calum?" a male voice responded.
my eyebrows furrowed, i hadn't expected this.
"luke?"
"yeah, it's me."
"why're you calling me?" i asked in a rude tone, feeling myself become annoyed quickly. he's the last person i want to speak with.
"i just feel really bad about how we ended things last time we saw each other. can we meet up and talk it out, please? i know we dont talk much, but i really want to start to. i completely understand if you want to never talk to me again, but i'm begging you to just let me try to apologize and explain," luke said. his voice sounding quite worried.
as much as i didn't want to do it, i knew i had to. the kid sounded so bad, "yeah, sure. when do you wanna meet up?"
"can we do it in... say, thirty minutes or so?" luke suggested, and i mentally sighed. why so soon?
"yeah, sounds fine with me," i mumbled, listening as my brother told me where we would be meeting.
as i hung up, i could only hope that this "meet up" wouldn't go as bad as the last one did.
*
hiii guys im back! sorry for the short chapter i just really wanted to update!
im praying there are some people still with me and im not just writing for nonexistent beings lol
anyways, i didn't edit this so please beware if the writing sucks im trying hard to get back into the swing of things ):
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Jump ➸ c.h.
Fanfiction❝when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. you know that your name is safe in their mouth❞ || lowercase intended.
