DivaGirlSwag

ᴍʏ ғᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟs ᴀʀᴇ Tigers, Dogs, ᴀɴᴅ Dolphins. 
~ɪ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇ sωɪᴍᴍɪɴɢ
~ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ғᴀsʜɪᴏɴ (ᴠᴏɢᴜᴇ!) 
~ᴍʏ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ɪs February 23rd
~ɪ ᴘʀᴇғᴇʀ ᴘᴇᴘsɪ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴋᴇ
~ɪ Love Hangin' out with my girls :). 
~ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏω ωʜʏ ɪ'ᴍ ʟɪsᴛɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ʙᴇᴛ ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ωɪʟʟ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ ʟᴏʟ 
~ɪ am crazy and fun so if you're normal and boring stay away :)

"If you're cooler than me......... Doesn't that make me Hotter than you?"

“ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴛᴄʜᴇɴ ɪs ωʜᴇʀᴇ ωᴏᴍᴇɴ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ.” . . .”ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏω ωʜʏ ωᴏᴍᴀɴ ʟɪᴠᴇ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴍᴇɴ?” . . . “ɴᴏ. ωʜʏ?” . . . “ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴛᴄʜᴇɴ ɪs ωʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɴɪᴠᴇs ᴀʀᴇ . . .” “ . . .”  “ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ʀɪɢʜᴛ. ʙᴇ ᴀғʀᴀɪᴅ.”

“ʜᴇʏ  . . . ʜᴇʏ ʏᴏᴜ sʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ?” . . . “ɴᴏ, ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ, ɪ’ᴍ ʀᴇᴘᴀɪɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴀ─ʟɪsᴀ ωʜɪʟᴇ ᴇ─ᴍᴀɪʟɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʀᴇ─ωʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴄʟᴀʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ɪɴᴅᴇᴘᴇɴᴅᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴘᴇ. ωʜᴀᴛ ᴇʟsᴇ ωᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪ ʙᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ?”

ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ + ᴜɴᴋɴᴏωɴ ɴᴏɪsᴇs = ɴɪɴᴊᴀ ᴍᴏᴅᴇ.

ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ωᴇɴᴛ ᴀᴀᴀʜʜʜʜ ɪɴғʀᴏɴᴛ ᴏғ ᴀ ғᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴏʙᴏᴛ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ωʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ωᴇʀᴇ ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ɴᴏ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʜᴏᴏᴅ!

  “ωʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɪss sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴜʀɴ Ձ.6 ᴄᴀʟᴏʀɪᴇs. ωᴀɴɴᴀ ʙᴜʀɴ ᴀ ғᴇω ᴄᴀʟᴏʀɪᴇs sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ? ;) “ . . . “ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ ɪ’ᴍ ғᴀᴛ?” . . .”ᴏᴍɢ . . . *ғᴀᴄᴇᴘᴀʟᴍ*”

 "ᴅᴏᴍɪɴᴏᴇs ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀ ɪs ɴᴏω ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ωɪᴛʜ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴄʜᴇᴇsᴇ!" .......... ωᴛғ ωᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsɪɴɢ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ?

"ᴅɪᴅ ᴜ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ʜᴀɪʀᴄᴜᴛ?" "ɴᴏ ɪᴛ ɢʀᴇω sʜᴏʀᴛᴇʀ" :ᴏ 

ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴘᴜʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀs ᴏғғ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ωɪʟʟ ᴋɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ

 ɪ ωɪsʜ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇ sᴏɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇᴅ ωʜᴇɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀωᴇsᴏᴍᴇ :ᴅ

"I had cheese but no crackers....... I was cracka-lackin'."

Lol hope you had fun reading these. I love pinterest so yeah that's where I got these jokes.

 Also if you want to follow me on pinterest here's my link : https://pinterest.com/totallychique/

Thanks guys hope you love my stories!!! <3 <3 <3