Lard

I doubt anyone will see this but I feel I should put this out there. I still think about Shrump. Maybe when I go back to college in the fall I’ll be the right kind of miserable to continue writing it. 

It’s my birthday! Have a chapter!

I’ve got a short chapter ready to post on my birthday. I feel like I should celebrate my aging with a good old fashioned chapter of a fan fiction I started when I was 16. Y’all don’t know when my birthday is and you won’t know until I update, I like this feeling of power >:)

Hello to my 22 whole followers and whoever else might see this. It’s only taken me six years to get to this point, I’m clearly well on my way to becoming internet famous. 
          
          I never update. I know, I suck. I’m doing this status update to force myself to get stuff done. I’ll try to post something within the next month. Just hold on. Soon I will massage your brains with the tender caresses of my words’ slimy tongues. 

What’s Putin like? Is it like poutine? Yum yum?

What kind of drugs you use while writing your book? I'd like some Lmao

Shoutout to the person at the tech store who helped me pick out my Apple Watch. Yes, my mother and I do sometimes talk like we’re in a badly written fan fiction. 
          
          I’m almost ashamed that I shared the name of my own fanfic during our cursed fanfic discussion. 
          
          If you’re here please tell me so I can never show my face at that mall again... which will be very difficult because I work at the mall too. 

I’m back. 
          School was heck and corona is heck but I live and breathe and my left armpit smells worse than my right armpit (not just today but most days)
          
          I decided I’d log on and check in on my strange Shrump child and found that I’m at 3k reads?? Well.. thank you, internet. 
          
          I always say this but I really mean it this time. I think I’m back to writing Shrump. If you follow me then you may know I’m full of empty promises but this promise is full. It’s full of wieners and the fact that my brain tells me to GET IT DONE. They’ll be shorter chapters and the continuity might be bad but I’ll push through that like a poop that wants out and I’ll write it. I’ll write this abomination and conclude it. It’s three and a half years old and deserves to be written. 
          
          I’m not going to promise a proper update schedule though because I’m bad at that. 
          
          Thanks for reading this and may the Ogre-lord bless you. 

Hey y’all. I’m alive! 
          
          Started college and sadly it’s slightly higher on my list of priorities than Shrump is. 
          
          I will continue writing it! I don’t know where it’ll go next but it’ll be a literary adventure! Hopefully I’ll be able to update it during winter break. I may bring on some dorky friends of mine as co-authors so maybe I can update more frequently, fingers crossed.
          
          I can’t believe its been three years since I started this crazy story. Thank you so much for reading it. 

Hello, loyal followers. I love you all. I’m going away for a month on a trip to Japan so I will be on hiatus. I may still reply to comments but I won’t be writing. I know what I’m going to call chapters 11 and 12 but I don’t know how to write Putin as a character. He will be important but as a Canadian who doesn’t think about politics a lot I don’t know what the heck he’s like. I promise the story is far from over. 
          
          On another note: there’s an annual anime convention in my town and while it’s not coming around again for almost another year I’ve had an idea. Since the convention lets pretty much anyone hold a panel, I may just try to have one of my own. I was thinking a dramatic reading of The Shrump Chronicles. I’m not sure if I’ll follow through with this but maybe I will and if I do it will be amazing.