Lazy feeling Sad

Happy Birthday to my Favorite Person <3
          
          As I am writing this, it is currently the 22nd of May— But I decided to post it in the early morning of May 23rd to keep up with appearances lol. It has become some sort of a tradition for me, writing you these little notes on your birthday every year— I don't plan on stopping anytime soon btw. So if by some miracle, you ever saw these little notes of mine, well... Atleast you know that I care a lot lol. It's because, I do care a lot. Every night I pray to God that maybe one day our paths will collide again. But while I'm low-key waiting for that to happen, I've made myself busy so that I wouldn't wallow myself in regrets and tears. Other than school and upcoming college, I tried to dip my toes in the love department. Admired some dudes form afar, stopped, then imagined if I didn't fuck everything up— Maybe you'd still be here. I would be writing this on the 23rd, buuuut I'm kinda busy. Look at your girl lol, she's adulting and travelling on her own now. She's thriving, making friends, trying new things— I really wish you could see me right now. And I really wish I could see YOU right now. Everyday I wonder how you've been, if you're alright, if you always remember to take your lantus or check your blood sugar, if you eat healthy or if you've played any new games today. I'd wonder if given the chance, you'd somehow find your way back to me— Ayo I'm acting delulu again. Happy Birthday to you, I wish for you to always be happy and healthy. That's all I ever want you to experience, because you've been through hardships all your life and I think you've had enough of those. It kind of feels like I don't have much to say— My words aren't wording rn I'm not sure why, but I hope I got my message across. 
          
          As always— I love you, you dork. We're getting older, but I still love you all the same.

Hey, I'm thinking of posting my Demon Slayer OC's backstory, which I originally wrote on a Google document for some of my friends to read. They said it was good, and thats why I'm thinking of posting it. I've read the two Rengoku books you wrote (love them btw) so I wanted a writers opinion on it. It would mean a lot if you answered this, and I'm really nervous about posting it. Should I?

I feel like I lost my writing touch wth— I've been writing drafts all week and I can't write anything good. I try continuing my stories, but I hate all my ideas. Why can't I write for shot T^T

To my Favorite Person <3 
          
          I'm scared. I'm so scared. It feels so wrong making these huge decisions and achieving milestones without you. I dreamed of you watching me grow, seeing how I'm not bluffing at the things I told you I'm good at, and how awesome I am academically. I wanted to grow old with you and talk about each other's days, and just be there for each other. Time is ticking, and slowly but surely, with every chime it's feels like a part of you is fading away. While my heart will always remember the way you made me feel, I'm afraid that my mind is moving forward— and with every step, a memory of what we were is slowly disintegrating. It frightens me to the core, what if I'll eventually forget about us? I don't want that to happen. I don't want to grow up and forget about you, I'm too scared to let go of the memory of what we used to be. I'm doing something really big tomorrow, and I'm doing it solo. I wish you could see me right now, and tell me how cool I am. Be proud of the petty, timid yet short tempered, and love deprived girl you used to know— Because I've gotten myself an upgrade. I'm still petty and timid, short tempered, and love deprived... But I'm cuter now fufufu~ 
          
          Love, Jess.

Message me privately let's chat better 

To all my Tagalog/Filipino readers out there— Lookie here I made a taglish original story about.... About Deluluness. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) "What If Series" will follow the stories of 5 delulu classmates/besties who only wants to be loved. I was inspired when my classmate told me about her delusions and when I asked, she said I could def make it into a story. Go check it out if your interested! I'm currently working on book 1 for now, but I'll try updating as frequently as my schedule allows it. 
          
          Check it out please!!!
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/364247666

I want to start a new Wattpad account where I publish my original stories there. What do you guys think?

Happy Valentines my babes (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡ And yes I know I'm late LMAOOO

To my Favorite Person <3 
          
          Look who's finally old enough to drink— This gal right here! Turning 18 is the most... Most eventful thing ever. 
          
          A lot has changed, if you haven't noticed. The first ones to greet me a Happy Birthday were my close friends from school, and they even gave me a small cake and they fuzzed about how we should go out to the beach or something together. I'm surrounded by good people now— Which I am really thankful for. 
          
          My friends can be quite a hassle, and they're very random at times, but I really think you'd like them. There's also this really nice guy that won't stop courting me lol— Don't get me wrong! He's a nice dude and I really like him and he respects me, but my heart is stubborn. It would still, and I think it'll always will, yearn for you. 
          
          While my birthday went pretty well, I really hate how I wasn't able to spend it with you. I was even more devastated when I hadn't received so much as a peep from you. I thought you'd greet me on this day, then sweep me off my feet and tell me that we can try one last time, and this time it'll work out. 
          
          Oml I'm so delulu, it's been years and I'm still hoping for stuff like that. I know I shouldn't be sulking still and I know you'd like for me to move on and find someone new, but I just can't. So long as you exist in this world, my heart will always yearn for you. 
          
          I can't wait for your birthday— Even if you're not aware of it, I'll be celebrating right with you. I love you, weirdo. Always will. 
          
          

Woah I'm 18 now :0
          
          I leveled up LMAOOOO