A S H

Hi! Would you mind reading Mars Saturnia's poetry book titled "He"? 
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/369611380?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=marssaturnia

I've been contemplating an exploration into surrealist poetry dealing with dark reflections. This would be a collection where everything follows an associative imagery that's deeply personal; something akin to Pink Floyd's The Wall. Put frankly, I don't think I have the ability to pull this off and worry that it's destined to be another failed attempt.
          
          I'd love to get some outside input on this idea. Do you think it's worth the effort even if I'm going to abandon it? Are you interested in seeing this kind of idea?

It's been a while. I know. My epic fantasy story, Twisting the Turall, is out! I made a promo for it on my YouTube, come drop me a line there.
          
          https://youtu.be/3LgnHXKsRWA
          
          It's also available up on Kindle Vella. You can start reading it now!
          
          https://kdp.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story-details/G0QQ92J1CE8
          
          I'm gonna slowly push for more online stuff and hopefully that'll mean time to review, read, etc. There's one thing that I know will happen and that's publishing more content here. I have an older story that's something I'm legit proud of, but I never got to finish it. I just kind of ran out of motivation. Anyway, I'm gonna try ransoming it. Stick around, a new story dropping tomorrow. (5/9/23)

There was a time where I shared everything that I wrote and I loved everything because I wrote it. That time is long behind me and I've almost completely lost touch with that feeling. I wish I had the courage and confidence to share everything that I wrote instead of being terrified that people will use my work to judge me, hate me, and ultimately persecute me. That is the thing that keeps me back. It is what destroys my love of the craft. Why do we spend so much time judging each other when we could've spent that time celebrating each other? What do we get out of this?
          
          Seriously? Is this really all about pushing ourselves up by comparison or is there something more to it? Writing feels like such an unvalidating pursuit. I feel no pride for anything I do. I have no clue if I am capable of writing anything of quality and I have been doing this for over twenty years! I can't help but feel like our desperate need to critique the craft is in part to give ourselves some small metric of success.
          
          And YET...Even though I feel this way and would love to just say all craft is subjective and therefore beyond critique, I do notice excellence. I notice when a piece has strong voice, great pacing, or vision of character. There are definitive moments in my life where I read something and think, "This is beautiful!" True that those moments are few and far between, but that's part of what true beauty is! Beauty is rare. It is a collection of convergeances and iteration that have made something chaotic and meaningless transcend it's design.
          
          What are the things we think of as being intrinsically beautiful? A sunset. Something that is created from water vapor, rotation, gravity, and the refraction of light. These are all physical concepts that shouldn't be creating things humans are still impressed with, and yet we are.
          
          Writing has the potential to bring that out us. It brings it out of myself, even as I'm writing it. I want an audience to share that feeling.

I've put a hold on Elantris as I may go through a more thorough reading with a friend.
          
          Last night I finished reading through Slaughterhouse Five. I'm unbelievably upset by the novel and I'm struggling to understand why. While there was some interesting social commentary and ponderous concepts, the majority of it was too haphazard to be emotionally compelling. I think my outrage comes from the fact that there are occasional moments of brilliant voicing and that the introduction was a unbelievably strong. Unfortunately, I don't think that the non-linear storytelling and extended metaphor did the novel any favors. Maybe if I read the book again in another decade my opinion will change. As it stands I much prefer Cat's Cradle to Slaughterhouse Five.
          
          I've been listening to A Darker Shade of Magic by V. E. Schwab (Sometimes credited as Victoria Schwab) and I have to say that this might be a DNF. The narrative is almost non existent. Over eighty percent of the novel is exposition so far. It's explaining the quirks and traits of the character ad nauseum and what world building is there isn't gripping me. I was beginning to hope that a plot might materialize, when a secondary main character was introduced. They did something that felt so unbelievable that I was taken right out of the story. What few actions these characters have I'm struggling to buy. I may need to jump to another audiobook, but I'm not sure who. I'd like to finish a contemporary book, but so much of what's coming out isn't gripping me.
          
          Writing went well yesterday. I put out a solid two chapters for Shrouded City and I'm in a optimistic that I'll be able to finish the adaptation/novel.
          
          My mega project, Twisting The Turall has gone through a complete round of line edits. I some structural issues to tackle and I'm not sure how much I'm going to cut. If I choose to kill my darlings, the end result might be a little sparse. I'll come back to it in April

Four hours into Elantris. So far it's enjoyable, but the tone can be a little inconsistent. It's almost like some characters live in a different world than the rest.
          
          I also started trying to read Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. I still haven't read one through four, but no one seems to have it. I'm pretty sure they're written by Vonnegut Senior. Still, for the fifth in the series, the story starts off well enough. I appreciate the use of extended metaphor and the prose, but I'm still waiting for the plot or the characters to grab my imagination.
          
          I've gone through a line edit of a good 30k words today. I've reached the Hundred and Thirty-Eighth Chapter. I should probably stop for the day to make sure I don't burn out. Alpha reader is telling me that my work still has distracting typoes, but I think the real problem is word choice. IDK. Hopefully I'll figure this out before publishing because no one is going to edit this for me.

I've been struggling for some time now. I hit a critical point yesterday and I hope I'm past the worst of it.
          
          I recently finished The Rage of Dragons by Evan Winter. Good read. I'd heard some unfavorable reviews and avoided it. I thought that it was some expertly crafted Shounen/Seinen style story telling. Some of the emotional moments weren't landing for me but overall the story reveled in its power and didn't apologize for its genre. I'll definitely check out the rest of the series in the future.
          
          This morning I finished the first editing round for Twisting the Turall Book 9. I also finished reading Terrier by Tamora Pierce. I like Pierce's prose, and I think she has a good grasp on plotting. This was her first book that I've finished and I feel like I should've start with a different one as I felt the world building was missing some detail.
          
          I have five weeks to finish Shrouded City. I'm going to try getting back to updating this. We'll see.
          
          Today I start Elatris by Brandon Sanderson. I haven't heard anything great about this book, but it appears to be the best start to my reading if I'm ever going to get into the Cosmere.

Was finally able to go to the library. There was no poetry section to be seen, which say more about poetry than any limerick I can see. I got two reference books to try and improve my vocabulary/ knowledge of idioms. I also checked out a book for my next project.
          
          My next project is a secret collaboration that I will get into at another time. I'm going to need to do some media research to get the tone and voice right.
          
          I just finished reading "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Fantastic stuff. Not a fan of the religious element peaking in to dominate the third act but a lot of older stories fit that sensibility. I had a similar complaint with Don Giovanni; which was a shame because there was some great stuff up until that.
          
          I think in order to emulate Coleridge, I'll need to take the poem a little more seriously, drafting a short story before construction the complete poem. I'm still not sure if that will be advantageous or detrimental to my training/recovery period.
          
          Really, I should be more recovery that growth at this point by an idle mind finds enough distractions to create pathways to slothen hobbies.
          
          Still, I edited this morning, finishing up the first line edit of Book 6. My second line edits are midway through Book 5 right now. (I think) I'm not sure how far I should be before jumping into the publication. I'd like to have something ready by Jan 27, but I may need to rely on the publication of White Rabbit.
          
          Overall my brain is working better, so hopefully I'll have a substantial goal soon.

Feeling ill today. Still I got to write a comical ?poem?. I hope it strikes a chord with people. I finished Kushiel's Dart.
          
          I really liked the book. I listened to it on audio. I think I'm going to read the novels after finishing the first trilogy. 
          
          I was supposed to go to the library to rent a book of poems today, but I don't want to get anyone sick. Pretty disappointed and getting dragged into my despair.
          
          I'll need to figure out my plan for the year soon. Anyway, read my stuff. What's everyone reading?

Alright, so my new book was WAY over the target word count. The ideal was 10 books at 50k. Book 9 was over 60k and Book 10 was over 112,000 words! If that sounds like a lot of work, I wrote book 10 in the last two weeks. I think I may have taken years off my life pushing myself to finish by the end of the year but I did it.
          
          I have a lot of things I want to do in 2023, but I know that I tend to take on projects and not finish. I will say that my 10 book series will be coming out on Kindlevella and then individually. I'm not sure how long it'll take me, but I should be getting something out in February. Updates to follow.
          
          I'm going to start writing poems for January to try and build up my voice. My goal is to focus on meter and vocabulary. I tend to write poems that are narrative or descriptive, but I may try out some dadaism and other weird things as the mood hits me.
          
          Another thing I need to do is build up my online presence. So I'll be posting on here more. I've been giving it some thought and I think that I'm going to keep trying to do something on YouTube and dip my toe in reddit. We'll see. I'm trying not to worry too much about it.
          
          I'm in the middle of Kushiel's Legacy. I've been loving that! Great premise, inspired thematic world building, and a spectacular look at some next leveling summation in the prose. It's really nice to see a novel that isn't afraid to tell a lot instead of focusing too much on little moments.
          
          I've worked a lot with balancing summation and specifics. I honestly don't have a theory about the right balance yet. Maybe I should film myself gabbing about this.
          
          Authors like Jane Austin and Richard Adams do a good job of this, but there are some more modern authors like Susanna Clarke and Marie Brennan that bring a lot of life into their summations.
          
          For my work, Where Dragons Die really tries to avoid summations much more than A White Rabbit in Summer. I've definitely implemented more summations in my work as I've grown as an author.