If you can't be intelligent, be clever. If you can't be clever, be funny. If you can't be intelligent, clever or funny: why is Doug Ford on my Wattpad profile page?

Socially distanced and thriving.

Four different short story collections to look through:

- The (Short) Story of the Evil Umbrella

A collection of short stories of all different lengths and genres. Completed, with a summary of every story inside to help pick which ones you want to read!

- Lemons Float

My second collection of short stories. Will be updated semi-regularly.

- Blue, Black, Red: Thirteen Macabre Tales

All of my scariest stories, packaged together for ease of reading. Some of these you can find in my other collections, some of these are explicit enough to warrant more caution in where I place them.

- They Found Me on Reddit

A series of short stories based on prompts from the r/WritingPrompts subreddit!

And the second draft of a 15 000 sci-fi crime noir novella hopefully coming in the next few months!
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  • JoinedApril 6, 2015


Last Message
thenonmouse thenonmouse Mar 28, 2020 02:46AM
I am back! For context's sake, the reason I've been so scarce on here is that I've been trying to get published in literary magazines, and lots of publishers aren't big on your work already being ava...
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Stories by thenonmouse
The (Short) Story of the Evil Umbrellas [Completed] by thenonmouse
The (Short) Story of the Evil Umbr...
You wanted to know how I died? It's simple, really. I saw dead people... As umbrellas. And the umbrellas di...
ranking #336 in individual See all rankings
They Found Me on Reddit by thenonmouse
They Found Me on Reddit
"Rob, this smells like whiskey." "Nuh-uh. They say tha' iz lemonade." Being a professiona...
ranking #926 in reddit See all rankings
Lemons Float by thenonmouse
Lemons Float
An eclectic collection of Short Stories, ranging from New York in the 70s to a post-apocalyptic future.
ranking #924 in feminism See all rankings
8 Reading Lists