RUN POEM 84

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I'm sorry if I seem uninterested,

If I zone out,

If I smile when there's nothing to smile about,

It's how I cope,


Its how I keep my demons at bay,

I ask myself what I'm doing here,

Why am I putting my friends and family through the pain of having me around,

The person who was so messed up,


The one with the problems that weren't really problems,

Telling them about my feelings,

I wonder if they really hear,

Do they really care,


Maybe I'll never know,

Because my demons are once again here,

Molding me not to trust them,

"They'll leave you" "They don't love you',


Are they right?

Why am I doubting them,

Why do they want me around,

They should just leave,


Make me push myself over the edge,

Drink so much my head spins,

Drinking takes the pain away,

Helps me forget,

But for how long?

How long am I going to run for?


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