Chapter 32

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1928

I awoke early the next morning, a little startled from my confusing and distorted sleep. For a moment, I was convinced I had glanced into an alternative world.
I shook away the grim dream and went downstairs to the kitchen where mamma and Jack were already eating. Mamma was still in her nightdress, her hair braided loosely. I had not seen her wear her hair like that since I was young, and I wondered if Jack had anything to do with it. After all, he seemed to breath life into mamma and make her youthful and giddy.
"Mamma?"
She turned to face me, but instead of her cheery and usually happy demeanour, she looked drained. Jack too, I realised, had an equally as grim expression.
"I have not slept yet, Josie," she said, "but I think we need to catch the first train to Philadelphia. I need to see my mother."
   Jack furrowed his eyebrows, "Rose, those letters were written months ago- God knows who tracked you down in order to send the letters or how they arrived at all- but you know your mother was very unwell when she wrote them. She said she was uncertain if she would see January, and it is already July."
"I don't know," she said earnestly, "but Jack, it's worth a try. Those letters found me for a reason. Now, the train leaves at nine so I suppose it's time I get myself ready- come on, Josie."
Mamma left before either of us could object. I turned to Jack, who was already in his work clothes, and caught his troubled gaze, "is mamma okay?"
"A little... tense," he frowned, "but I can hardly blame her."
I frowned, "who will watch the farm?"
"I've asked the Browns- they own a farm down the hill. I said I'd give them a couple of the new calves for it."
I nodded, taking a slice of uneaten and cold toast from mamma's plate. I bit down on it, wincing at the brittle crunch.
"Do you want something else?" He offered, but I shook my head.
"No, thank you, I have to get ready now. Are you going to change?"
He laughed, "right- I forgot. I better not turn up at Ruth's house looking like this or she might have me mistaken for a vagrant."
He rose, seemingly merry, but I knew that was far from the truth. I ignored the nagging urge to press him on his own mental state and donned my "Sunday best" which was nothing more than a floor-length gown. It was a pretty cornflower blue with pearl-like buttons and a silhouette that required a corset. I put it on begrudgingly and went downstairs to mamma and Jack who were waiting.
Mamma wore her best dress, which was a grey-green and in the same silhouette as mine. They were both slightly outdated, but classic enough to be passable.
Jack was equally as well dressed in a clean white shirt and dinner jacket he rarely wore, even to church. He looked the most uncomfortable of us all, and a little irritated by his starched sleeves, "I plan to leave my collar unbuttoned until we get there- God knows how you two can stand those horrible contraptions."
"I can't," mamma said, tugging comically at her corset, "I plan to burn this the moment we get home."
Jack laughed heartily and took the bag mamma was holding. It was filled with only essentials but the weight of it was extraordinary. He lifted it onto his shoulder with ease as if it weighed nothing at all.
   Jack went onto the porch with mamma and I hastily wrote out a note for Nick:

Nickolas
I've left town for a few days, maybe longer. Know that I am safe and with my parents. I promise I'll explain things later, but there is no need for concern.
All you need to know is that we've gone where they went last time.
You don't need to worry about me, and I only write so blandly so only you can understand this.
Josephine

We walked into town, careful not to get our boots or hems too dusty, and managed to find a taxi to take us to the station.
   We boarded the half-empty train, finding a comfortable booth-style seat for us to share. I sat on the inside, Jack beside me, and mamma across the table. As we shuddered along, mamma looked increasingly wan.
   As she dozed in and out of consciousness, Jack whispered to me, "mind if I sit with her for a second?"
   I nodded, and he went to mamma's side, drawing an arm around her, "you alright, Rose?"
   She murmured into his side, and he felt her forehead. He gave me a weak smile and turned back to mamma, "you're pretty tired, huh?"
   She nodded,  and he encouraged her to put her head in his lap. I passed him his jacket which he covered her with.
   Jack and I spoke quietly across the table until night fell and it was time to go to sleep as well. Mamma slept the whole time, unaware of the world around her.
   The days passed in a blur, and we eventually arrived in Philadelphia.

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