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Ash


"What about this one?" Vi asked, holding up a black bikini. It was cute, but the multiple straps seemed a little complicated and a bit too extra for me.

I shook my head. "I don't think that's what I'm going for." I say and go back to picking through a rack of sundresses.

When I had woken up this morning, Evertt had been outside giving Saff's car a jump.

Sage had a look on his face that I couldn't quite decipher. The bags under his eyes were slightly alarming, and his hair was slightly limp. I was still a bit on edge of whether I completely trusted him or not, but I needed to see the best in him. I was beginning to understand that Sage didn't like letting his guard down, and if I used his trust against him, I might break him beyond repair.

He was not the only one that looked like he had gotten no sleep. Clementine looked worse for wear and complained of a mild headache from too much booze. Jay kept massaging his temples, his hair slightly ruffled. Heat warmed my cheeks and I quickly turned away from him. I spent the rest of the morning consciously focusing on not looking at Jay but that only caused me to pay attention to him even more.

Vi then suggested a trip to the natural hot springs that was located somewhere on their expansive property. Something about it being medicinal and connecting to nature.

"This one?" Clem said from the other side of me. She held up a red triangle bikini. It was simple, and little on the scandalous side.

"I don't know," I said but grab the swimsuit. I take it to the changing room and start stripping down.

I slowly put it on, purposely not looking down at my hips and thighs as I slide the smooth fabric over my skin. I reach behind my neck and tie the strings. Trailing my fingertips across my shoulders and down my chest, heat pools in my stomach as I remember Jay's touch from last night. For the tenth time today, I wondered why I couldn't get it out of my head. His lips had been soft and determined and had caused a whole new set of emotions to run rampage inside of me.

Dropping my hands to my sides, I turned towards the mirror. Looking up slowly, I brace myself for what I might see.

When my eyes rest upon my hips, I can't help but let out a tiny gasp. I turn sideways and lift up hands to closely inspect my skin. I had been dreading this moment. I knew that at some point I would have to show my skin. But that had not made me ready for it.

The dark bruises that had coated the pale skin around my hips and stomach and thighs and been gone for a while now, but it was like the ghost of the pain was still there. And it wasn't just the physical pain. All of the repulsed and disgusted voices that littered my mind, leaving me feeling like I was unwanted.

Now there was only some slight discoloration. Where the worst bruises were, there were splotchy marks that were a few shades lighter than my skin color, the newly healed skin was 't raw anymore and I had no further pain. I shouldn't be thinking about it anymore. But I still had so many unanswered questions.

Jay's face flashed in my mind again. 

My hand traced along the length of my stomach, moving up the shadow of Jay's touch from last night. My cheeks flushed at the thought of our kiss. There was something in me that was clawing to get out, something that made me flushed and desperate just thinking about Jay. It was intense and invaded every part of my mind.

I was scared of that feeling.

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. It didn't do much.

Pushing open the changing room door, Vi was the first to notice me. "Damn."

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