Jennifer Hackney is dead and left in her wake are two people very important to her; Anna Gilmore and Harry Jones.
Anna is struggling to cope after the death of her best friend and is headed in one direction-rock bottom.
Harry insists he's fine afte...
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Dear Jen,
Harry and I spend majority of the flight to Berlin scouring potential men for me to kiss, and by the time we land, I'm feeling much better.
"So, it's a no to the Trump look-alike?" he asks, making me laugh.
"Hard pass."
He tuts, feigning irritation.
"Check-in isn't for another hour at the hotel," he informs, reading through our documents. "Wanna grab lunch?"
I don't know why, but since the whole Lorenzo situation, I've seen a new side to Harry. Somehow, opening up to him about my past has made us closer. It's like we can finally relax around each other now.
"Sure."
Once we grab our luggage and clear customs, we head to a small bakery located just outside the airport. It has a wonderful selection of light lunches and I order a kartoffelpuffer, which I'm told is a potato pancake. Harry chooses something that resembles a beef stew and as we wait for our food to come, we discuss our plans for the remaining two days.
"Anything you wanna see while we're here?" he asks.
"I saw a pamphlet about wine tasting," I reply. "That might be fun."
"That might be dangerous," he adds.
We both smirk.
"Screw it! Let's add it to the list."
I sip on my coke and stare at the window, looking out onto the street ahead.
"Do you think anyone would miss us if we just." I pause. "Didn't go back."
"Home, you mean?"
I nod.
"Probably not. My parents moved to England when they retired and I'm an only child."
"How come you didn't go with them?" I question.
"I'd met Jenny by then. And I was completely in love with her."
I smile.
"What about you?"
"No. I'm not well liked, remember?"
"Ah—yes—I almost forgot you're an insufferable bitch."
I toss him my proudest smirk.
"I guess Jenny was the only thing keeping us there," he continues, staring ahead.
His mind seems to drift and I allow myself to do the same.
Did you know, Jen? That home was never really home to us?
"Anything you wanna do while we're in Berlin?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Aside from eating food and finding you someone to kiss?"
I nod.
"Not really. Wine tasting sounds fun though."
Our food arrives, and it's heaven on a plate. Neither of us bother keeping up with conversation at we eat, focusing our attention purely on the flavours each dish has to offer. Harry is chewing on a rather persistent piece of beef when choose to study him.
He really is stunning, Jen.
I'm mesmerised by the strength in his jaw and the look of concentration in his eyes. His hair—currently a controlled mess—takes on a life of its own and I want nothing more than to run my fingers through it and—
Shit!
"So, this kiss," I say, needing a distraction. "Any tips?"
He wipes his mouth on the napkin provided and swallows his food before speaking. "What do you mean?"
"Well, anything I need to know about technique?"
"Not really. It'll all happen very naturally. My only advice is to not overthink things."
Is he joking?
"I'm in my twenties and have never been kissed. What's not to overthink?"
He laughs.
"Do I slip in some tongue?"
"If you want?"
"Do I sleep with him?"
He stops smiling and suddenly drops his cutlery. It makes a loud clatter and the noise travels though the entire venue, drawing attention to our table.
"Umm..."
"Or is it too soon?"
"Only you will know if you're ready or not?"
I shrug.
"But, don't you want your first time to be with someone you know. And someone you like."
"Well—currently—you're the only person I know and like."
Dammit—I'm flirting again.
"Oh."
I've made things awkward, Jen!
"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"Why not?"
"Because I've made you uncomfortable."
He finishes his food and leans back in his chair. "You haven't."
Well, that's a relief.
"Sex is different for everyone," he shares, cocking a brow. "Some regard it as some life altering event and want to wait for the perfect partner. Others see it as no big deal. Both are fine."
"How did you feel about it?" I enquire.
"I wanted it to be special. I waited for Jenny."
I smile. "I remember the day you both lost your virginity. Jen told me."
He cringes.
"She was... glowing."
He has that distant look in his eyes again. "Jen was my first everything. Kiss. Sex. Love."
"Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?"
"It not," he insists. "It just makes missing her all the more difficult."
I understand.
"Do you think you'll ever move on?" I ask. "I mean properly move on."
"Fall in love again, you mean?"
I nod.
"Jen wanted me to. It would have to take the right person to come along."
"She'd have to be pretty fucking spectacular to beat Jen," I joke.
He stares at me, his gaze reaching the very depths of my soul. "Yeah, she would."
A tense silence settles between us, crackling with energy. The way he's looking at me would suggest he thinks I'm that person, but I know I must be mistaken. Harry and I may be getting closer on this trip, but there's no way he has feelings for me. He's helping me find the perfect guy to kiss, for Christ sake! Besides, beneath all the recent respect we've found for each other lies years of deep hatred and utter despair. That's something you can't build a relationship on. Not unless...
