Wulven [A Different Wolf Novel]

Chapter 2 | Glimpse

Sometimes, Liez would get these fuzzy images of a petite woman with long crimson hair, similar to hers. Other times, she remembers a familiar humming sound of a beautiful melody and a pair of icy blue eyes looking at her with tenderness. She's unsure if she was having actual visions or just mere imaginations. It was fleeting, though, as the woman's image would almost always disappear before she could hold on to it. This is where her old sketchbook comes in handy.

Art has always been her lifeline. It's her coping mechanism, sketching things she finds beautiful. A raven perched on a tree. A flower blooming from the cracks of a concrete sidewalk. The forest view from the attic windowsill. With the pages of her worn-out sketchbook, she can express the emotions that she has kept bottled inside. It helps her unlock the secret rooms in her heart that she can never freely open to anyone.

Page after page, she tries to sketch the image of that mysterious woman in her mind. Sometimes, Liez would have dreams about her and she would try to draw whatever she can recall the moment she rose from sleep. There are other times that the dreams would feel so real that she would wake up drenched in sweat in the dead of the night. That feeling of bliss dissipates as soon as she realizes it was all just a dream. Just a glimpse of a life she longs for. She is back to the reality of her loneliness.

Liez always wondered why she was left in the orphanage. She remembers a familiar feeling of love and warmth yet, she can't understand what happened for her to end up here. She would wonder how it would feel to have a dad and mom and a real sister or maybe a brother right beside her to not feel so...alone.

Sighing, she slightly opens the window. The hinges make a horrendous dragging sound as fresh air trickles in. The courtyard grounds are peppered with orange and red hues, signaling the beginning of her favorite season. But in contrast, the clouds are an angry, stormy gray. The promise of a storm coming in as the cold wind picks up. It rustles the trees and sways the grassy wands. She wraps her arms around herself.

The weather reminds her of a day just like this before. She was on a little hike with Miss Ruth and the other 9-year-olds and below at Hemlock Woodland Trail, a nature trail just a few kilometers from the Orphanage. It was still open for visitors then. The Matron wanted the kids to appreciate the local woodlands and teach them basic survival skills. 

Everyone was so ecstatic as they hiked. Young Liez, however, felt horrible. She had this unsettling feeling ever since she woke up in the morning that day. Her ears have been ringing intermittently. Tingling sensations ran to her fingers, hands, and legs. It was not giddy with a glee kind of tingling. She hated it. It made her feel so nervous.

The group was almost near Willow Creek when all of a sudden, the skies turned gray and cold winds began to blow, so Miss Ruth decided for everyone to go back to the Orphanage. Liez suddenly felt nauseous and began hearing noises in her ears again. This time, everything was so loud and she remembers feeling extremely scared. She could hear Miss Ruth calling her, but she couldn't focus. She remembers falling to the ground and struggling to get back up, holding her head as if it would explode from the unbearable noise. Picking herself from the ground, Leiz ran as fast as she could and as far as her little weight could carry her, covering her ears all the way.

Deafening.

The sound of thudding footsteps of children, the ear-piercing chirps of birds, it was all too much. She remembers the howling sound of the wind as she ran. Liez was desperately trying to block all that noise, but everything was just too loud.

Suddenly, she felt a hand clamped on her arm just as she stumbled to the ground. It was Miss Ruth kneeling in front of her, brows furrowed with concern. Her mouth was saying something, but Liez could not hear beyond the unbearable noise in her ears. Between shallow and quick breaths, Liez focused on the head matron's familiar face.

Miss Ruth gently placed her hands over Liez and motioned for her to breathe deeper and slower, encouraging her to follow her breathing. In and out, again and again until she calmed down.

The sound in her ears gradually subsided, her breathing became steady. She can finally hear better,

"Focus on my voice." Miss Ruth urged.

"Imagine an invisible wall surrounding just my voice. Block out all the unnecessary noise... breathe. You're okay, Liez."

Liez did as she was told and felt much more relieved. Miss Ruth hugged her tight,

"You're okay. I got you, sweet girl. I got you..."

Liez slowly opens her eyes. That memory makes her feel nostalgic. She always thinks about how wonderful that hug felt. Like the sun, warm and soothing on her skin on a lovely day. She remembers the feeling of comfort and security inside that loving embrace.

Perching on the windowsill, Liez lets out a breath. She tries to remember if she's ever felt a hug like that before, from a life that only shows itself in dreams and glimpses behind closed eyes.

A mother's embrace, perhaps?

All of the sudden, the image of the crimson-haired lady with icy-blue eyes crossed her mind again. She immediately grabs her sketchpad and pencil. She tries to hold on fast to that thought. Her hand hurts, but she ignores it. And as she draws those eyes, she lets her emotions loose. Longing. Sadness. Confusion. She lets her hands move past the pain. Maybe if she could just peer into those eyes and ask, why? Why did you leave me here?

A teardrop blotches the sketchpad, followed by another. And another. Liez barely notices it until the images blur in front of her. Years of bottled-up pain explode from deep within. She hears the crumpling of paper and gasps as soon as she realizes that she has completely mangled one side of the sketchbook. She tries to fix it the best she can, mentally admonishing herself for the lack of self-control.

Suddenly, Liez feel the hackles on the back of her neck rise as if they were called to attention. She is alone in the room, but she senses that someone is watching her. She looks out of the window and standing there across the street below, just along the tree line, is a woman, wearing a black dress. Her long, crimson hair flutters in the wind as she stares in her direction.

As their eyes meet, she realizes that they have an uncanny resemblance. She quickly steps away from the window so that the woman wouldn't see her. Gasping, she covers her mouth with her hands.

Who is she? She peers outside and sees the woman still standing there. Liez had to know. She needs to see her up close. She ran down the stairs as fast as she could, almost stumbling past Miss Ruth.

"Liez? What's happening Liza?!"

She ignores the head matron as she runs outside the orphanage gate and towards the tree line across the street. Strange, it may seem, but she feels an affinity with that lady in black. Hope and longing are engulfing her. She can hear the familiar sound of Miss Ruth's approaching footsteps, clip-clacking on the pavement, but Liez manages to cover a significant distance, running as fast as she can.

Miss Ruth is still calling out as she reaches the tree line. The woman is gone. She just vanished into thin air. Where did she go?

"She was right here!"

Miss Ruth finally caught up with her and put her hand on her shoulders,

"Who, love?"

"There was a red-haired woman standing here. She was dressed in black and she looked straight at me from up there...", Liez points at the attic window.

"I know I needed to see her up close. So I ran as fast as I could to get here, but s-she's gone..."

The head matron's lips part as she looks at the tree line behind Liez.

"Miss Ruth?"

Loss for words, Miss Ruth clears her throat,

"You better get going, Liez. Valerie's in the dining area waiting for you now. You're on clean-up duty with her."

"But what if--"

Liez cuts herself off before she says something stupid. The silence is unsettling.

"I'll look into it. But for now, you go on ahead."

As she heads back to the Orphanage, Liez looks back at Miss Ruth one more time and sees her still standing there, looking towards the tree line.

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