State of Grace | ONGOING

Chapter 16

The Spartans were facing off against the University of Oregon on enemy soil, and since it was close to Salem, the cheerleaders were on the sidelines screaming our heads off and pumping up the visitor's side of the stadium. We wore slinky red skorts and matching cropped long sleeved tops, my favorite of our outfits. It didn't make us look as stereotypically like cheerleaders, which meant that it was right up my alley.

Halftime was a few minutes away and it was a gloomy Saturday afternoon. The sky looked ready to release the burden of its heavy, gray clouds and I was grateful I hadn't bothered to do anything to my hair other than pull it back into a ponytail. Some of the other girls who'd straightened their hair were rapidly losing the battle against the humidity. Simi and I had experienced enough rainy fall and winter games to know better than the freshmen who showed up with sleek hair that no amount of hairspray could protect.

My eyes drifted towards the game as the clock ticked down in agonizing seconds. We were down by two, but had plenty of time to come back. I found myself watching Theo, the ends of her black ponytail sticking out from under her helmet as she got into position before the snap. Her arms were bare under her jersey and pads and I lost myself in imagining the meaning behind each of her tattoos, thoughts drifting as her muscles flexed and the ink jumped and shifted, like animated art on her body.

"He's playing a great game today," Simi said, pulling me back to reality.

"What?" I asked, and I knew immediately that was the wrong thing to say. Her face darkened slightly and I raised my eyebrows. "I just didn't catch what you said, Sim," I added defensively. My friends knew the truth, or at least part of it: that I had a crush on Theo. But they didn't know that we'd kissed at homecoming. I'd conveniently left that out of my recap because the last thing I wanted was for my best friends to know I was an impulsive idiot and a cheater.

"I said that Bo's playing a great game today," she repeated. "You were staring at him."

I was? I thanked my lucky stars that she didn't know that my eyes had been about twenty feet to the left of him, on the far side of the field. My boyfriend had been playing well today. He'd scored a touchdown after a particularly tricky run where the other team didn't seem to be able to touch him. I'd done my due diligence and cheered him on for that, of course. He was an impressive player, he had strength and speed enough to spare. It was too bad I was focused on someone else instead. He didn't deserve that. But the thought still echoed in my head that he didn't deserve me.

"He has," I said with a small smile. "It's really good to see all of his hard work paying off."

She seemed happy with that response, smiling back at me and turning towards the field again as our offensive line ran their play.

The green and scarlet jerseys were all I could see as everyone blurred into motion. The ball snapped back to the quarterback, Jordan, who had to rely on his linemen to protect him long enough to make his play. He took a few jogging steps back, giving Theo enough time to dart around the opposing team's defensemen and run for her life. The ball sailed through the air, connecting perfectly with the white gloves on Theo's hands, and a massive cheer went up from our side of the stadium.

I gasped as one of the University of Oregon's players rushed at her, and she darted easily out of bounds to give us the advancement up the field without taking the full weight of a probably 350 pound man. My heart was racing, but I was grateful that she'd avoided disaster.

I also knew that my reaction wasn't normal.

She wasn't my friend. We'd already established that. We couldn't be friends because we both wouldn't be satisfied with a friendship alone. So then why did I react like that when I thought she was going to get hurt?