Dark corners of my mind

Never all in

My desire for him overwhelms me, at times confuses me.
Mostly for when I had every opportunity to have him completely I wasn't interested.
I used him for my own gains, for when I wanted comfort.
I would have my fill and that would be it for a couple of months.
Now that he is spoken for I have a strange feeling when I think of him. Seducing him with no thought or feeling for his girlfriend, an yet I'm also not shocked by my own actions or lack of concern for her. I'm not spoken for, I've no ties to anyone. As I see it I'm not the one hurting anybody!

I try to stop myself with him only because I know if he ever said he would leave her I would lose interest.
Then comes guilt for leaving him high and dry in the first place, still that doesn't last too long either. Does that make me a bad person? Am I a Bitch?

I should just forget about it, after all I know deep down I don't want him.
Never shy of a bit of attention from men, most of them have girlfriends too. Who am I to deny them some harmless flirting, I chuckle to myself knowing damn well nothing is ever harmless.
Hell it's fucking toxic.

I don't hold out high hopes for Prince Charming to come along, I sure as shit aren't waiting for him either.
Balls to that!