A Melody We Were Never Supposed To Hear

Psycho

Taylor Acorn

Some lyrics are changed 

—-

Dazai POV

"Dazai, why did you leave?"

I felt my body go cold at the sudden question as my skin began to crawl at the memories that tried to surface, the ones older than that night that I had locked so far away that I could almost pretend that they didn't exist at all. And suddenly I felt like a little kid again and everything felt too fresh, like the first time that I ever let Chuuya look beneath my bandages when we were young and still thought that we were invincible even as the world tired to tear us apart.

"Chuuya," I started, my barely above a hushed whisper but he still heard it. I didn't want to talk about this. Not now, not ever if I could help it.

"Just tell me and we won't have to speak about it ever again," the other man decided, his mind had clearly been set for some time now. For long before he ever found me at the cemetery. "I deserve to know."

And maybe that had been the breaking point, because I knew that what he'd said was right. Chuuya did deserve to know, if anyone did it was him. If I owed him anything in this life, it was this story at the least, no matter how much of a bad idea it was to give it to him. So I told him.

I told him about how Ango had gone missing as Mimic had come to town and how Odasaku had been tasked to find him. I told him about how they had figured out that he'd been a triple agent working for the government, and how the leader of Mimic had been someone with the same ability as Odasaku's. I told him about the leader of Mimic relentlessly fighting all of the ability users that he'd come across and the small war that had broken out between the Port Mafia and the foreign organization. How they had killed each other and all of the backup that they each had brought that night. How I'd found Odasaku dying.

Chuuya listened through it all, but he didn't seem to quite understand why I had felt the need to leave. Which was fine, I hadn't told him about the promise that I had made then and everything that I had learned about those last days before going to help Odasaku. 

But then Chuuya made a comment and I made another, careless, one back. One that I knew I would regret the moment that it left my tounge.

"If I'd been there, I would have killed them all," the older man had decided, a sentiment that I'm sure he'd been holding onto since he got back from his mission and found the state that Yokohama had been in. "They wouldn't have needed to worry about finding someone with the same ability."

"That's exactly why you weren't there."

I hadn't meant to say the words out loud, but maybe I'd grown too content with the safe environment that I'd been living in for that past week or so and they just slipped out. Or maybe I had just gotten soft over the past four years. This slip of tongue never would have been a problem back then.

Chuuya looked at me with a troubled gaze and I could tell that either he didn't understand what I had meant by that, or had in some way and just didn't want to believe it to be true. But I was already in too deep to turn back now. Everything was being laid bare for all to see, either he accepted it or he didn't.

"Mori had you sent on a mission that week because if you'd been there, you would've ruined everything that he'd been working towards back then," I explained, biting the bullet and getting it over with.

I watched as Chuuya slowly slid off of the kitchen counter and stood in front of me, all small and lethal  grace. I had a goon many inches on the older male and yet I felt so small beneath his gaze in that moment, like I was nothing more than a lie for him to pick apart.