I wake up the following morning feeling invincible, if not a bit thirsty, and snicker in silence to myself over the absurdity of the previous night. I'm not embarrassed about making out with Shawn, ordering him to heat up his tortilla or dancing in my bra with the other girls. Scrolling through my phone, I see that our pictures in the cowboy hat have been posted to Instagram. I panic for a moment praying no one took pictures of me shirtless, but everything looks appropriate. My mind darts to Ethan's expression of shock when he arrived at the party, and a sharp twinge of unidentifiable emotion pings inside me.
I stare at the photo of myself in Micah's cowboy hat. My smooth and blemishless complexion shines with an alcoholic pink glow, and my smile radiates carefree happiness.
Drinking has definitely improved the quality of my life, I think to myself, a tiny, mischievous snort escaping my throat. If my parents knew I had started partying and kissing random guys on the weekends, I'm sure they would worry I was slipping off the deep end. But I feel a sense of complete control.
"Why did you freak out when Ethan got to the party last night?" Isla inquires as we stroll to breakfast. Elia snaps to attention and bores her eyes into the side of my head.
"Because we were half-naked?" I reply.
"Why were you half-naked?" Elia asks, her pitch rising with shock and intrigue.
"It was hot," Isla and I answer in unison, and we both crack up at the same time. Elia rolls her eyes and shakes her head as we enter the cafeteria.
"I need Ethan. You two are incorrigible. Where is Ethan, by the way?" She checks her phone, then stretches her neck to glance around the Bon.
"I doubt he will be up before noon," Isla declares, and I nod. It required both of us steadying his shoulders from either side to make it back to campus on the short walk home last night.
"So why did you freak out over Ethan, Nati?" Elia re-focuses the previous conversation once we settle into our seats with eggs and pancakes.
"Ethan looked horrified when he saw me. It was like being shirtless in front of your big brother!"
"Brother, eh?" Elia mutters. She and Isla share a glance that I'm unable to interpret, but before I can ask, I spot Joshua approaching our table. Isla and I make eye contact, and I will myself to maintain composure as a fit of giggles threatens to overtake me.
"Mind if I join you ladies?" I can tell Isla is on the verge of hysterics as well.
Elia and Isla rush through breakfast and take off to do laundry, while I hang back with Joshua so as not to abandon him in the middle of his breakfast. My anger from the previous days has evaporated, and I'm relieved when we fall into easy conversation.
Paying close attention to his mannerisms and facial expressions now, and thinking back to his frantic fingers and heavy breath on the garden bench, I am fairly certain he did and still does have a crush on me. Rather than feeling rejected, I choose to believe the brush-off is due to his own fears and has nothing to do with me. Maybe he feels the same way about me as I feel about him—uncertain and unprepared to pursue anything more.
"Let me know if you want to play foosball again sometime," Joshua says when we stand up to leave.
* * *
On Monday, I enter literature class with jitters in my stomach, wondering how the interaction with Shawn will go after our make-out session over the weekend.
When he enters the room and approaches his chair, I smile openly at him, feeling as though we have broken open the barrier of shyness between us. Apparently, he feels the opposite, because he flicks his eyes away when they meet mine, looking supremely uncomfortable. Oh, okay.
YOU ARE READING
A New Reflection
Teen FictionNatalia Stevens is smart, nice and shy-and this is exactly how everyone sees her. Even day-to-day conversations with friends and classmates are difficult, and guys certainly don't pay her any attention. During her senior year, Nati begins to notice...
