Enigmatic Emotions

(xviii) Toxic flames

"Here's a loyal and a loving heart,
Take it, lad, or leave it."

-Edwin Bradford

Bedazzled, Alan had climbed up the steep wooden stairs. Before he could even change his mind and turn around, the door was pulled open.

He was greeted by Arnold's smiling face and the shrill sound of a barking dog. "Alan, so bona te vada your lovely eek. Come in."

"Nice to see you too." The grinning Alan stepped forward. It did not escape him that Arnold had just addressed him in Polari. Not that he was that fluent in the dialect, which was mainly used as a secret language for homosexuals, but he understood enough.

The first thing he noticed were the mint-green walls, which made the apartment look bigger than it was. Looking more closely, he saw cracks in the ceiling where the colourful paint was peeling off and a mountain of piled-up dirty plates and pans on the tiny cooker.

Arnold saw him staring and cleared his throat. "Normally I would never let anyone into my place without feeling some embarrassment, but you don't seem like the type to care."

The corner of his mouth crept up. "You guessed that right."

The barking grew louder as Arnold opened the next door. A pug rushed out of the room, purposefully leaping towards Alan, but it didn't get higher than his knee.

"Chubz! Is this how we greet our guests?"

Alan paid no attention to the dog, it would soon run out of energy anyway with all that jumping. "And for what reason am I a guest here, exactly?" It came out more suspicious than he intended.

Arnold's cheeks coloured red. "Oh yes, well I wanted to thank you for paying for lunch."

The boy disappeared into the room from which Chubz had just escaped. Alan followed him. As he had predicted, the dog was now lying on his side, completely out of breath.

Arnold sat on his bed cross-legged. The walls of the room were covered with papers, as if it were one big noticeboard. Between the sheets, he recognised the same green as in the previous room. Alan remained in the doorway, still not understanding.

"So I thought," Arnold nervously smoothed out his light brown shirt, which made Alan only more agitated, "why don't I surprise you with a private concert?"

The bed squeaked embarrassingly loudly as Alan sat down opposite of him, back against the iron headboard. "Concert?"

He could still see the grin appearing on the face of the man opposite him before he lowered himself onto his stomach and retrieved a guitar from under the bed.

"Well, I'm not very good at it." Still, Arnold confidently placed his fingers on the strings. An extremely concentrated look slid across his face as the first chords flowed from the instrument.

Soon he drove up the tempo. Alan recognised the upbeat melody immediately. He tapped his hand against his knee along with the beat.

Arnold looked up from his guitar but still managed to play on, without making any mistakes. Not very good at it. His eyes found Alan's.

He got goosebumps when the man started singing. He had a very sweet and light voice, with which he could hit the high notes perfectly, something Alan had not noticed before.

"Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true."

Although he would like to close his eyes to enjoy the moment, Alan's gaze was drawn to the papers on the wall.