COLLIDE [PARK SUNGHOON]

23.

At least this day brought a little bit of happiness, as I luckily found Eun-Ji and Chae-Won. Apparently, they were both late for school today. They told me that Chae-Won's bike had broken down on the way.

After they told me their short story, I told them mine, all about Sunghoon and the way his friend group acted towards me and to say they were surprised was an understatement. 

They decided to stay with me all day so I wouldn't have to see those popular boys from school for the time being. Eun-Ji insisted on talking to Heeseug about it, but I shrugged it off because I didn't feel like it. At least my best friends act normal.

Pondering as I stuff my last books in my locker, I hesitate whether to go home or work on my own figure skating training. Just because Sunghoon couldn't make it today, for whatever reason, doesn't mean I can't sharpen my techniques. In fact, I think his coach will be delighted that I worked extra hard. 

I can't lie, the competition is not far away anymore and I'm really looking forward to competing with Sunghoon. Hopefully he'll be in a better state by then.

He told me it was his dream to win and that he was serious about his competition. I have to put aside our private matters for now and focus on this deal. I still don't like his behaviour that started out of nowhere, but I know the competition is important to him.

With a sigh, I walk the familiar route and toy with my phone, wondering whether to text him or talk about the past few days or today, but I'll just give him space. Surely he will eventually tell me what is bothering him, right?

With my head cast down, I finish the short walk and then open the entrance doors. The building is fairly quiet, but I frown when I hear someone on the ice rink, the sharp cutting of ice echoing in my mind. My head shoots up and momentarily the world halts.

I cannot believe what I see. My eyes are big and my heart has never been so hurt. It aches a lot and I let my hand linger on the door. My mouth is slightly open, staring at the two figures gliding in unison.

Areum and Sunghoon.

Was this a game all along? Was he playing with me? Using me? Destroying my free time so he could skate with his partner as if he wasn't desperate for a new partner two months ago? I don't get it, I just don't get why he would betray me like this. He was always so honest.

They glide elegantly across the ice and on the left I see his coach shouting instructions as she disiplinely grips the barricade. I follow the movements playing out in slow motion in my head, her mouth forming vowels and consonants while Sunghoon's hands touch Areum's back for a jump. 

My eyes brim with tears, but I blink them away. Why would he do such a thing? First he has been behaving differently since Friday and then he cancelled our training session to do it with someone else instead. This explains everything. If I hadn't shown up here, when would I have known?

Suddenly, Sunghoon's eyes fall on mine and I could swear that time stops for a moment. He spins Areum around, but his eyes are on mine and on no one else. They widen tenfold and his lips part open in shock. 

Our gaze is connected as he sends apologies through them and guilt lines the wrinkles of his shocked face. The moment he stumbles and calls my name, I'm out of the building, slamming the door with a thud.

What have I done to be betrayed like this? How could I trust him so easily? I told him about my parents, I got in trouble for him with my own sport, I almost sacrificed it for him only to be greeted with a thanks like this. I was looking forward to our performance, but I guess there is no point, because there is no our any more.

Feeling a little panicked, I tug at the roots of my hair. How long has this been going on? Had it been since Friday? My thoughts click and the gears turn. But maybe at the beginning of all this they decided to train with Areum and use me in the meantime to help Sunghoon maintain his form?

I begin to quicken my stride, knowing he will catch up with me somehow and I'm not wrong. Soon I hear a call for my name and I make the mistake of looking back. A worn-out Sunghoon with dishevelled hair sprints my way, the athlete that he is, he catches up before I've even managed to run away.

"Please..." he breathes out. "It's not-"

"What it looks like?" I finish his sentence with a scoff through small tears that leave my eyes. I sniffle before turning around again, but he grabs my wrist, causing me to twist back to him immediately and I accidentally stumble straight into his chest.

He keeps me close, but I distance myself. The pain is somehow too much, it should have just been a deal, nothing more. But the thing is, it's so much more than that. I step back and shake my head as he's so nervous and his pupils dilate in fear that this is where we end, where our paths will part.

"Don't leave, we can talk about this, please..." He begs, grasping my hands now, but I draw them away. Right now, I need space and lots of time to think and those two things have nothing to do with Sunghoon, so I back away again to walk home.

"Forget it..."

Walking back home was the longest time I spent on the streets. I just can't get him out of my head. I can't and it causes a headache. Having finally arrived at my stupid house, I realise that I also have to deal with my parents. Entering the warm house, I throw off my shoes and rush upstairs.

"How was training?" My mother shouts from downstairs and I want to scream for everyone to leave me alone. She thought I was roller skating, so this lie she believes makes my head spin. 

"Fine!" I call back and then slam my bedroom door. Tears are flowing profusely. And I feel so frustrated, so bad. I can't even properly think. This is absolutely the worst day I have ever had.

I crawl under the sheets and form a ball so I can easily forget this day. But whatever I do, everything reminds me of him. 

The way he smiles like an angel, the way his hair falls on his forehead after we do a trick. I remember all the stupid things we did and then I remember his confession. I meant it, I meant what I said yesterday. Bullshit, if he wanted me he wouldn't push me away, he wouldn't lie.

A ringing echoes and after looking at the caller, I turn it off. Now he's calling me? Screw him. Frankly, he can forget it. Grabbing a tissue from my bedside table, I wipe my nose and stare at the white ceiling above me, spreading my arms next to me. Do I really deserve this treatment?

Closing my eyes as tears fall on my pillow and drench it, I try to erase this day as I drift off into a restless sleep.

A/N:

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-C