Arisen Fury

Hold Me

Avery

Kage. He and that godforsaken nurse are all I think about. Both play through my mind on a constant loop. I've tried to bury these feelings. The nurse belongs to Finley and Kage. Kage is dying and I have yet to find the courage to tell him how I feel. To tell him that I'm in love with him. I scoff at myself in disgust. It sounds wrong to me, even though it's the truth. Who in their right mind tells a person on the verge of death that they have been in love with them since boot camp? Oh yeah, that'll blow over well.

I'm such a screwed-up junkie whore. Like seriously, I'm a sex addict. I must have it. When I'm having sex, I don't have to think of Kage. The drugs and alcohol numb it all for the oxytocin high to flood my brain. Okay, so it's not just sex I'm addicted to. I'm an addict. Drugs, alcohol, sex, and tobacco. I need it all, so I don't have to fix myself. I don't want to face how truly messed up my head is.

Chancler would have a field day with me. Weston Chancler has become the Death Kings resident psychiatrist. Who better to work with a bunch of morally gray murders than someone who is a morally gray murderer himself? At least if he has someone trigger who tries to kill him, he knows how to defend himself. Or, you know, kill that person first.

I can't. I can't. I can't do this! Panic is setting in my chest, feels tight. I can't breathe. This entire church is suffocating. I have to leave. I need to leave. I...

There, Kage is sitting between Rory and Finley. A look of joy on his face as he savors the food I cooked for him. The little nurse and her lover boy have a hand each on Kage's thighs, fingers grazing the bulge in his sweatpants. Have the three been...they've had sex! It's obvious. Fin is sharing the nurse with Kage. Does that mean they are all together now? It's almost like the two are sharing Kage, but I always thought he was only interested in women. It's who I've seen him with. But thinking back on it, I don't recall ever seeing him inside a woman. Just them giving him head. If he is bisexual then maybe I have a chance.

Yeah right! I mentally scold myself. Nobody wants my skank ass. All I know is fuck and kill. There isn't anything else to me. My parents made sure to remind me I was insignificant and not worth their time when they had my precious baby brother. The heir to their kingdom of money. He got it all, and I got the boot the day I turned seventeen. I was homeless for a year, but still managed to attend high school and graduated while working part-time. Then I joined the military, where I met Griffen, Kage, Ajax, and Duncan. I spent my time off duty with them, which is how I met Finley, Griffen's little puppy dog.

We were having difficulties adjusting to civilian life, and that was when Kage introduced us to his cousins Natalie and Grimm Jamison. Natalie and her husbands offered us a job. Death Kings mercenaries. Replaced the legendary Dire Wolves under the guise of Bunk Security. Bunk Security was bought out by the Death Kings and we were recruited. They barely graduated high school but had their lives together better than the rest of us. They had been in horrendous situations that matured beyond their physical years. During our training with the Dire Wolves, Booker was added to our team.

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting out here with my feet in the pool when Rory sits beside me. "Dinner was delicious. Kage made a plate for you when you're hungry." I thank her before lighting another cigarette. She doesn't ask if anything is wrong, just silently sits there. That meant more to me than I can put into words. Her presence alone is a comfort.

We just sit in silence until Griffen clears his throat. "Fin took Kage to bed. He asked me to notify you."

Rory stands dusting off her lush rear. "Thanks for letting me know, sir." The way she drawls out 'sir' was like she wanted Griffen to spank her. It was heady.