Fabula

Justify

"When we lie to ourselves..."

He's watching me. I can feel it. That six sense people get when something's wrong. Since boarding the subway, I felt watched. It makes little sense. He's supposed to be dead.

But there he sits a few seats ahead of me in the last car of the train. That possibility is even more terrifying. I glance up again to verify if I'm going insane. The man is fixed in his chair and staring at me. His brown eyes fixating on mine. The smirk he features shoots chills down my spine. The scar on his left cheek is a constant reminder. His hair is a messy slop of dark brown, with falling strands over his eyes. He looks so tranquil and collected, given the history.

I grab hold of the seat bar in front of me as the train makes a sudden violent shake, as if it rode over something on the rails. The power goes out and I'm immersed in pure darkness. The tunnel lights provide no direction to our destination or history. As I try to discern what could have gone wrong, the train's lights turn back on, followed by the tunnel.

Squinting, I search for an explanation in my surroundings, unsure of what to expect. That's when I notice the man is gone. Panic rises in my body, fear taking over all my senses. Was I just imagining him there before?

Everything goes dark for a moment, then the man reappears standing in the walkway. Eyes replaced with white bloodshot ones. No pupils. Just white. I want to scream; I want to cry for help, but I can't find my voice. All I could do was watch.

The man disappears amidst flickering lights. I search around, struggling to find something real in this nightmare I'm trapped in. He isn't real. He couldn't be real. After all, he keeps vanishing. Could this be a hallucination? A sickness?

There must be a rational explanation as I don't believe in ghosts. Yet, there he is. Gazing from the opposite end. He turns as I observe him and opens the door that leads to the neighboring car. Then the lights shut off again.

Not knowing why, if it was me or some external force controlling me, I rise and shuffle into the walkway. I freeze there, finding myself now able to regain control of my body. The man is in the other train car, just glaring at me, no longer showing his signature smirk. Despite the distance, I could see his outfit has changed. It's now the same outfit I remember him in. The one from the other night.

The lights flicker on and the room is empty. I had almost forgotten people were there. Prickling sensations make their way up and down my arms and legs, and a headache forms. Maybe it's feasible to hallucinate one man, somehow, but the entire train car?

Standing still and making eye contact, I saw something move in my peripheral vision. I couldn't help but turn away to investigate, seeing something red showing up. The windows were... bleeding. Crimson liquid seeped into the train, finding its way down the walls and pooling onto the floor. I no longer could feel my body again. The mere fear I felt made me paralyzed.

Coldness engulfs me. The man is now just a silhouette with white eyes. He's looking at me, observing me, enjoying my reaction. The lights flicker, some remaining on, others alternating, almost unsure of themselves.

Then the whole train pulls to a stop. We weren't even close to the next station, the station I'm getting off at. It's my exit from this hysteria I'm trapped in. The tunnel walls surround the train, darkness closing in from all sides. Claustrophobia hit me for the first time.

Tapping sounds come from behind me, and I felt an ice-cold chill make its way down my spine. There shouldn't be anything behind me. I'm in the last train car. Tapping turns to slow pounds on the train's door window that leads to the tunnel. I keep my eyes on the silhouette in the next train car, who's still staring at me, anxious it would pounce the moment I broke contact. However, the tapping didn't seem to cease.