~ to my beloved. || ONC2024

2

Each time I catch sight of thee, an irrepressible longing wells within me—to draw nearer to thee, to sense thy presence beside me, to share the very breath thou dost exhale, to steal fleeting glances when thou art unaware. Is this what they term love? Is this how I ought to have felt towards the men who attempted to court me?

I am confounded by my own desires, and uncertain of the propriety therein, yet I find myself powerless to resist. Every fleeting moment we share, I am consumed by an overwhelming desire for it never to cease. I feel ensnared, and yet paradoxically, more liberated than ever before in my life.

~ to my beloved.

(...)

Amar placed the papers in her hands back on the table as she rolled her eyes. As the eldest daughter, she was responsible for all the preperations for the upcoming events. Now that her father and brothers have returned, she had no choice but to end her small vacation shortly and go back to her duties.

A knock on the door made her look up. Sonia, who was more like her friend rather than a simple maid of the palace, was looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face. She bowed to show her respect before fixing her posture. "Your Royal Highness, His Majesty the King requests your presence."

Amar nodded. "I shall be there in a moment." After Sonia left, she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath before getting up and going downstairs. 

When she went down to her father's study room, she knocked on the open door and bowed. "Might I gain entry?"

Shara simply nodded before Amar got inside and came up to him. Shara was only looking at the papers in front of him when he started to speak. "How fared everything in our absence?"

Amar straightened her posture and kept her head up. "All was as usual, Your Majesty. Nothing of note occurred." she said in her most monotone voice.

He nodded in satisfaction, then he took his pen. "Your sisters?"

Amar shook her head. "They did not instigate any disturbances."

He nodded again and signed the paper he was holding. "Very well. And you?"

Amar silently gulped and shook her head. "No, Your Majesty."

With her response, Shara stopped scribbling and looked up. He placed the pen back to his place and looked down at the papers in front of him again. "Indeed, 'tis likely challenging to evade the vigilant watch of the knights and roam freely at such an hour of the day, is it not?" When Amar looked at him with slight confusion, Shara dipped his pen in ink. "Didst thou truly believe that a maiden such as thyself could slip away at her leisure from my palace?" Amar froze in shock. Her eyes widened in fear as her father slowly looked up back to her. He looked at her with a smirk that sent a shiver down her spine. Shara first laughed, then his expression turned to anger. He slammed the arm of his desk. "Dost thou take me for a simpleton?!"

"No, Your Majesty, I would never entertain such a thought." Amar tried to cover her fear and tried her best not to show any emotions.

Shara just rolled his eyes. "Thou art fortunate that there was a plausible explanation. But should thou ever attempt such a scheme anew..." He sighed and shooed her away. "Thou art released. Only by virtue of it being the anniversary of thy mother's passing. But do not dare to appear before me again."

Amar silently bowed to show her gratitude and got out of there. As she was walking upstairs, she tried to relax herself. She got inside her room and dropped herself to one of the sofas. She just wanted to be by herself at that moment and get lost in the comfort of a book, but when she reached for her book that was on the sofa, she remembered that it was already finished. Not only that, but all of her books were finished, except for the ones she found too boring to read. Like clique romance novels and all, and she was not going to read them out of boredom.