The Beast

8

HAZEL

I lie in bed but can't sleep. My eyes keep trailing to the door, hoping to hear another knock. Hoping to see more of Ronan.

My feelings are conflicting. I feel guilty about wanting to see The Lord, because I feel loyal to the hooded man. He kissed me and protected my secret. I know my loyalty to him is unwarranted and naive. We're not romantically involved—that much is clear. He's crude and unwelcoming and has told me to get lost, but it's hard for me to harden my heart after the little things he has done for me. He could have blackmailed me with my secret, but he didn't ask for anything or report me.

As stupid as it may be, I feel loyal to him. I shouldn't be attracted to Ronan as well. I don't want to be thinking of two men. It feels... unnatural.

My roommate, Gwen, sleeps peacefully in her bed. That's what I would have been like if I never skipped the wall. If I never seeked answers. Ignorance is bliss. But it's also boring. I'm glad I broke the rules.

I sigh into the darkness and toss and turn in bed. Tomorrow I have an extra room to clean because the estate is expecting a visitor this week—a rare occurrence. I hear he's a business partner of Lord Ronan, and just as mysterious. He only arrives at night.

A lot of things happen at night. That's when the estate becomes alive.

— —

Gwen gently shakes me awake. I groan and stretch, my body sore. I slept in an odd position last night but there's no time to waste. There's plenty of work to do.

I change into my dress, the black skirt flowing around my ankles. Then I tie my apron around my waist and put my hair in a bun.

I stop by a locker to retrieve a bucket of cleaning supplies. Then I submerge myself in the repetitive cycle that is my life. Sweeping, dusting, mopping hardwood floors that already sparkle. At least my mind can escape while my body moves robotically.

I think of the two men that are mysterious yet spark me with enlightenment. I've been learning about the world and about myself—about the roaring desire for touch that I didn't know I had. And my challenging spirit that finds thrill in pushing the limits.

I reach the end of the library, my mop sliding along the wall. I notice something I never had before. Behind the bookshelf, there's a dark linear line. About an inch thick and disrupting the smooth wooden wall.

I glance behind me although I know I'm alone in the library. Then I set the mop aside and drag the bookshelf with all my might. I groan as the ten-foot bookshelf moves only two feet. But it's enough for me to see what's behind: a door.

I shouldn't be looking at this. There are only a set amount of rooms servants are allowed to enter. This is not one of them. I didn't even know it existed.

I push the door wide open, letting the light behind me stream into the room. I don't dare step inside, but from here, I can see rows of whips, chains, and a neatly made bed.

There are no spiderwebs in the corners. I would have expected them in an unused room, but clearly someone is keeping this tidy. A servant much higher in rank than me.

What is this? A sex dungeon?

I read about this in one of the erotic novels written by Tallia, one of the maids in the estate. It was a great story, but I couldn't imagine that people actually used those practices. The level of trust between the partners would be incredible.

Would Lord Ronan be into this kink? Hurting his partner to elevate both of their pleasures? Yes... I think he would. He's a powerful man and probably revels in that power.

I don't know how I feel about this revelation. I wonder how many maids he has strapped down here. If he has thought of extending the offer to me.

Don't get ahead of yourself, Hazel.

I shut the door and push the bookshelf back into its place. I look around, but I'm still alone. My heart beats wildly in my chest, but I clutch onto my mop and drag it across the endless hardwood floors that connect all the secrets of the estate.

My eyes never stray to the hidden door. I must act like I never saw it, and I must take it to the grave.

Hours later after work, I eat dinner with Gwen. She tells me the latest estate gossip—something I never cared much about. It's the real world that I'm interested in.

I decide that I've played it safe for long enough. I want to skip the wall tonight.

After dinner, I pack my bag and wait for the guard change. Then I run for it and scurry under the hole, clawing like a wild animal in fear of getting caught.

Then, once I'm across, I wait for the sound of a yell or a whistle. There's nothing.

I sigh in relief and rush toward the town, my bag hanging by my side, stuffed full with my belongings and the hoodie I made for the mystery man. This time, I'm determined to give it to him.

I walk into town with my gaze low. I dressed smart today. My clothes are old and dull, the pants sporting a hole in the lower left leg. This helps me blend in. The townspeople don't dress in fine clothes. No one does in the estate, either, but there's an expectation of quality. We're forbidden from wearing wrinkled or torn uniforms.

I walk around the town in search of the man that tries to hide behind a hoodie but can't avoid the attention of the people around him. He's so tall and broad that eyes naturally find his figure.

Thirty minutes later, I'm about to give up my search when I check the last place I saw him: the wall where he kissed me a few days ago.

I find him lying against the same wall and speaking with an unknown woman. Her up-do has many braids and her makeup is layered thick. She rests her hands on his chest and he wraps them around her waist.

They're lovers.

I grip my bag that holds his hoodie, feeling like the stupidest idiot on Earth. Why do I feel disappointed? He doesn't owe me anything. We're strangers to each other.

I turn around and rush away, but I only make it around the corner before a heavy hand grips my elbow.

"Girl," he growls. "Why do you keep returning to my town?"

I refuse to look at him. Feeling displaced anger. I should be angry at myself for growing attached to a man I hardly know. I'm acting like a teenager.

I rip my arm away with surprising strength. "Don't worry," I seethe at the hooded man. "You won't see me ever again."

***How dare he embrace that other woman against THEIR wall??