The show must go on Part II.

Chapter 11 - alone

Narrator POV

When Jade comes out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, Perries has retreated to the bed at the other end of the room, the covers over her face so that no one can see her tears. And yet Jade tries. She stands in the room for a long time, undecided whether she should listen to the impulse to ask for Perrie's words, which she has not understood but heard. But she bites her tongue, decides against it, lies down in her own bed and closes her eyes. The pregnancy and her permanent state of exhaustion have at least positive side. Despite the chaos of thoughts in her head, which would otherwise keep her awake around the clock, she falls fast asleep within seconds.

It takes two days before the extreme storm warning is over and they are allowed to leave the room again. Until then, they hardly speak a word, the previous argument still weighing heavily on everyone's shoulders, the mood depressed and tense. While Perrie is caught up in her own thoughts, still deeply angry and sad and yet struggling with herself as to whether she shouldn't believe Leigh's words after all, Jade is for the first time not fixated on the situation between her and Perrie, but rather on the appointment she has missed and is now facing in Tokyo.

They called Sam that night, who did a lot of research and found a gynaecologist who can treat her as soon as they are allowed to leave the room again. She is sitting at this very appointment, alone. Leigh actually wanted to come along, but the rest of the band had to go straight to sound check. So she let the driver take her to the private clinic alone, was directed to the back entrance and walked to reception with heavy legs. Doctor's appointments without Perrie still feel strange and just not right for her. And yet here she is, having to speak to the lady at reception on her own, being led into the room on her own, having to speak to the doctor on her own and being all alone when he starts the treatment.

A thin needle is inserted through her abdominal wall. This time she barely slept a wink the night before, far too nervous about this routine procedure, far too anxious, the needle will hurt the baby in some way. Although she had Daniel on her phone half the night and he had to reassure her several times that nothing would happen and that the risk of miscarriage after the procedure was extremely low. Nevertheless, she has to clench her hands into fists to stop herself from shaking uncontrollably. 

The doctor asked her beforehand if she would prefer to be sedated, but she is familiar with anaesthetics of all kinds after all the visits to the doctor in her lifetime. She knows that it will take her much longer to get back on her feet afterwards. So she decides to grit her teeth and undergo the short procedure while completely awake. She doesn't know whether it was a mistake or not, but at times it feels like one. When they are finally through and she is allowed to stand up, it feels even more like one. Every movement gives her a twinge in her stomach, making her question how she is supposed to walk normally, let alone get back on stage as quickly as possible.

"We'll call you in 24 hours with the results," he tells her as a parting shot and she nods politely, but knows straight away that the next few hours of waiting are going to be pure hell.

With slow steps, she makes her way down and finally to the car. She is deep in thought, focussed on taking one step in front of the next as painlessly as possible, when she suddenly flinches, shocked by a flash of light. 

Startled, she lifts her head, looks into the eyes of several paparazzi and is paralysed for a moment, so surprised by their appearance. She has been told that the doctor is discreet, she is at a back entrance and there is no one else here but her car and suddenly five paparazzi besieging her. And when she hears them talking, her blood boils faster and faster. They are British.