Quirk: Read Outside the Lines

The Champion

Ben studied the envelope, a bright yellow rectangle, tape on the flap, holding a greeting card. It was unexpected after all the hate on social media.

When the picture went viral, there were mixed reviews, and then things turned ugly. People found him on all the platforms, even LinkedIn, and called him a troglodyte, a woman hater, sexist, and a lot worse. He deleted every last social media account. Even his colleagues at work wouldn't stop poking fun at him.

His wife hadn't been ecstatic when they signed up, but she agreed. It's not like he forced her into anything. Seriously, he'd been doing it for years. He practiced the lift a thousand times as a firefighter, and his wife was slight and athletic. Ben knew Ana would be excited if they won, which they did. First place. A huge trophy, bragging rights, and a multitude of unhappy trolls on social media. Now he lived with Ana's resentment as well as public condemnation.

One moment of confusion. One stranger's cell phone photo. One marriage in turmoil. In the picture, his wife, face drawn in anger, mouth open in a scream, pounded Ben's back with her fist. That was the image posted without context for the world. Social media took a blind eye to the illustrations of them surmounting the last, huge hill or laughing as they cooled off streaking through the water obstacle. No pictures of the smiles at the end or the rounds of beer at the bar with other competitors. Ben holding the trophy high didn't even make it onto Facebook.

Making social media rounds, captured forever, was the moment strands of Ana's hair snagged in his lucky gold chain. She'd yelped in pain, pounded on Ben's back, and screamed for him to fix it, her other arm trapped under his. That moment. That one bad instant was the only one anyone online saw.

Ana hadn't been overjoyed when he entered the contest, but she was a good sport and had always wanted to travel to Finland, so Ana got the trip of a lifetime, and Ben got to compete and win The Wife Carrying World Championship.

Now they were famous, but not in the way he hoped, and Ben spent the nights on the couch.

He opened the envelope and plucked the card with bright lettering stating "Bravo."

A PO Box stamped in red ink was all the indication of the sender. Ben peeked inside and was relieved when no white powder or razor blade fell out. How many people were able to find their address online astonished him.

"Impressive doesn't begin to cover it. Congratulations."

A handwritten note was carefully printed at the bottom. 

Here at the National Organization for Men, we espouse the traditional roles of husband and wife. Your physical prowess in The Wife Carrying World Championship, the picture of you being a leader and resisting the tantrum of your spouse, and winning the games, says so much to men living through confusing and radically progressive times. We are sure you agree women appreciate when men dominate.

The National Organization for Men would love to have you join our ranks and see many chances for future collaboration, and we're sure you don't need to ask your wife for permission to move forward with these amazing opportunities.

A pen-drawn smiley face mocked him as he read the last sentence. 

We plan to use your picture front and center on our website and in our literature if you have no objection.

Ben felt Ana's breath on his neck. "What's that? Let me see."