Golden Glimpse of Yesterday

06

Kabanata 6

Hell. Literal hell.

Minutes have passed yet i'm still here sitting in the car. I kept on looking at Khyle's account and rechecking Sen's comment to see if I already removed my reaction reply.

Gosh! nakakahiya kasi!

"Ma'am hindi ka pa talaga bababa?" Kuya manong was urging me to get out of the car already. Kanina pa kasi ako nakaupo sa car. Though hindi pa naman ako male-late since i came ten minutes early. My only concern lang talaga is the embarassment i'll be getting once i get out of this car.

I pouted and shook my head as an answer to kuya manong's question. I'm not ready yet!

"Sige ma'am. Dito lang ako sa labas magpapahangin." Tinanguhan ko lang si kuya manong at ngumiti sa kaniya.

I am an overthinker. I ponder on things for quite a long time and think about what is yet to happen rather than what i should do to resist that from happening. I don't like anything spontaneous because it just makes me rumenate more about some unforeseen effects of that hasty happening. I would rather perpend for it for weeks rather than regret it only after it had already happened. I hate the feeling of not being able to do anything once the mistake is already out there, that's why i tend to overthink more.

After some time, i finally decided to get out of the car. Nagi-guilty na kasi ako kay Kuya manong, he had to guard the car kasi while i'm inside, eh ang dami pa kaya sigurong kailangan gawin ni Kuya manong. Maybe some errands my mom gave him.

When i got out of the car, agad na lumingon si Kuya manong sa akin. Siguro nabigla nang lumabas ako sasakyan.

"Oh, aalis ka na ma'am?" Tanong niya. I smiled shyly at him. Nahihiya kasi ako na natagalan siya sa paghihintay sa akin na lumabas.

"Oo po, aalis na po ako," Kinawayan ko si Kuya manong at ningitian niya naman ako. I waited for him to start driving before i started to walk inside the main gate.

"It's okay Ellie, maybe they forgot about it already...yeah maybe they did" i was constantly telling myself some postive things to help myself ease up a little. And honestly, it didn't really help since i still  couldn't shake off the anxiety i was feeling. But yet again, i am a pessimistic person so that basically explains everything.

I was already standing in front of the classroom. Kaunti nalang talaga magsisimula na ang klase. Huminga ako ng malalim at pumasok na ako sa loob. Nakita ko si Gabbi na nagbabasa. She looked up at me and mouthed hi and i also waved back at her. Binalik niya rin naman ang tingin niya sa libro na binanbasa niya.

I was relieved because Khyle wasn't in his seat yet. Lumingon-lingin pa ako sa klase to see if he's just around maybe.

"Khyle isn't here yet."

I was surprised when Sen suddenly apeared in my front. She striked her irritating smile again.

"I-im not... looking for him." I was starting to feel uncomfortable around her again.

She looked at me sarcastically. Still, with a smile plastered on her face. I felt my hands start to tremble and my heart pounding. She was really making me feel so anxious.

I ignored her stare and slowly put my bag down. But my breathing hitched when i heard her utter the thing i was dreading to hear today.

"Do you think Khyle likes you?" She put her hands on my table and looked at me. Nandiyan pa rin ang ngiti niya. I looked up at her and faced her intimidating stare. I was trying so hard to supress my anxiety. Hinawakan ko na lang ang aking kamay and tried to calm myself.