there for me

backward steps

before i start this chapter we need to talk about the album because oh my god. absolute perfection unskipable billie did not fumble.

marleys pov

i continued my way home it was now closer to lunch time, the girls were grateful when i brought the groceries in.

"i'm making lunch do you want any?" willow asked popping her head into my room.

"yeah, i'll have it once i come back before i go to work. i'm about to go the gym" i said coming out in my gym gear. she nodded telling me to stay safe.

i parked out back sitting in my car for a second to connect my headphones. walking in i greeted the staff before finding phoebe by one of the machines. "hey girl" she smiles slipping her headphones around her neck. "its been a while since ive seen you here, you alright?" she asked and i nodded. 

"yeah just busy" we both went back to our own thing. maybe half an hour later i was on one of the machines and she was standing beside me telling me her work drama. i stopped mid rep feeling really off all of a sudden. she noticed and paused. her voice was distant and i went to stand up when i got really dehydrated and felt myself falling. 

i must've blacked out because i opened my eyes to phoebe and a staff member standing over me. i sat up with their help but stayed on the floor. "just heavy lifting" i told the staff member because it wasnt that uncommon for someone to faint while lifting heavy, they went away but phoebe stared at me. 

"passing out on 70 kilos i dont think so" she shook her head at me helping me to my feet. passing me her drink she gives me a look "home time for you" she ordered wiping down the machine i was on. 

"pheobe im fine, im not dont yet" i argued, she couldnt kick me out so i continued, pheobe stayed nearby checking up on me. the fuzzy feeling didnt go away so i tried my best not to move around to fast when bending down and all that. 

she was finished her workout by now but stayed another half an hour till i finished. "take care, eat something, and please be safe" she said as we walked to our cars. i nodded saying i would and drove home.

my head was throbbing and so was my side, i guess i had fallen on it. at home i was fighting off sleep since i had no energy left after that. i walked into my apartment and the girls were on the couch watching a movie. 

i waved to them before going straight for a shower. the cold water froze my body but it felt good.i let the water run over my head holding my hands over my face. i ran my fingers through my hair pulling the strands that got caught around my fingers off and into a small ball. i stepped out putting my pyjamas on even if it was only for a few hours till i had work. i put the hair in the bin staring at myself in the mirror. without the conceler you can really see my eyebags. i blew out a breath to keep myself from crying just out of complete exhaustion and went to the living room. 

"your lunch is in the fridge honey" willow said from her spot and i opened the doors staring at the meal. i grabbed it opting to have it cold and took a seat on the floor by the coffee table. 

alyssa was behind me and she started to run her nails through my hair scratching my scalp softly. i dont know how she functions with long acrylics but this is worth it. i was eating slowly putting it down after every second bite or so. 

phoebe (gym)

proof of food intake 

i sent her a photo rolling my eyes. what happened before was nothing she needs to stop worrying. i ate most of it putting the rest back in the fridge before going outside for a bit. i sit on the couch out there closing my eyes and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin. 

time skip after work. 

at 4am when i got home no one was awake but my bedroom light was on. i pushed my door open and found billie asleep in my bed. she really cant go a day without me anymore. but then again neither could i. 

i got changed quickly before sitting infront of my mirror to take my makeup off. "hey mars" her croakey voice called out. 

"go back to sleep billie ill join you in a minute" i said softly trying to get the eyeliner out of my waterline. she crawled from bed looking at me through the mirror before joining me on the floor.

the artist sat behind me wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder. "how was your shift" she asked gently. 

"long but its okay" i sighed leaning into her "quit" she suggested and i shook my head saying it wasnt that easy. 

she looks down at me pressing her lips against my forehead then my lips in upside down kiss. i couldnt help but let out a small laugh and she smiles down at me. she held my head but paused when she felt the bump that had formed on my skull. 

"i tripped over at the gym" i answered and she nodded making a comment about how clumbsy i was. 

"dont fall asleep on the floor" she then said pulling me back into bed with her. i hummed closing my eyes again. but the second i did i was unable to actually fall asleep. i lay there for a few minutes but nothing was working. 

"you still awake?" i whispered and she nodded in response. 

"cant sleep?" she questioned and i nodded. she started to sing for me. humming melodies and i could feel the vibrations of her voice in her chest. that mixed with her hand scratching my back i managed to fall asleep pretty quickly.