Killian

Losing Control

Killian

I'd been awake for a while thinking and Sidney was just starting to stir in my arms. I still didn't have all the answers, but I knew this place felt more like home to me than my apartment, and it wasn't because of the furnishings. It was because of Sidney, she owned my heart.

"Hey," she said in a sleepy tone. "Good morning."

"Morning," I said, kissing her forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did. For the first time in a while."

Her words tugged at my heart. "Same here. I've been a wreck." I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. I'd missed waking up to the warm softness of her lying against me.

"What the hell was with you asking last night if I'd been with anyone else?" I murmured in her ear.

She turned to look at me, holding the sheet over her chest. "You didn't call or text for three days. I figured you were over it."

I hummed my amusement with that idea. "Over you? How could you even think that?"

Her chest rose and fell in a sigh. "I didn't know what to think. I thought maybe the fight pushed you over the edge. And you're a man and I know how road trips are. I wondered if you'd screw a compliant woman since I tend to drive you crazy."

I pushed myself up on an elbow so I could look down into her eyes. "My dick is oblivious to all women but you, Sid. I haven't been hard for another woman since the day I met you. Even when you drive me crazy, you're the only one I want."

The corners of her lips curved up in a smile. "You should write Hallmark cards, Bosch."

I slid a hand beneath the bed sheet and pinched her ass, making her jump and shriek at the same time. She tried to get out of bed but I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back against me.

"Get on your back, woman," I said, climbing on top of her. Her protests were lost in her laughter, which warmed me all over.

I crouched over her, pinning her hips to the bed. She stopped wiggling and looked up at me, her long hair spread out on the pillow and her cheeks rosy from laughing.

"I'm not the sweetest guy, Sid. It's hard for me to say things sometimes. But I hope ..." I took a breath, searching for words. "I hope I show you how I feel. I try to."

Her eyes sparkled like two emeralds. "Me too," she said softly. "I'm so bad at apologizing and telling people they're important to me. But I hope you know."

I lowered my body closer to hers and our heat mingled. "I felt it last night. And I feel it right now. You're the only woman in my life, Sid. And even though I don't need a lot of words, I need to know I'm the only man in yours."

"You are." She reached up and stroked my scruffy cheek. "You're the only one, Killian."

"I'm a person who broods and thinks about things. I wasn't ignoring you. I thought you wanted space, too. Not space from each other, just space to cool down. If you ever need me, just tell me."

Her expression twisted into something I couldn't place, but it almost looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong. I just feel myself losing control and it's so hard."

"Losing control of what?"

There was a pause before she spoke softly. "My heart."

With any other woman I'd been with, I'd have leapt from the bed and been in my car within five seconds. But Sidney's words made me feel so damn good that my eyes burned.