It was July 11, 2016 me and my sister in law got in the car and took off to Hattisburg to see the doctor. We are sitting in the office and the doctor walks in and checks me out and says you know what this means? Im like yea and no at the same time. So he checks me out and then measures my breast to see how big the knot is, he then goes out tells me to get dressed and comes back in and says Im sending you over for a biopsy to take a deeper look. Im so nervous I could throw up but I keep telling myself its nothing ( I already knew it was cancer) I had that gut feeling that something was not rite. So they call me to the back to do my biopsy and Im laying on this cold metal table and the pathologist comes in and says I have the tags to go ahead and tag her so the tumor can be pinned by the chemo, but tells me its nothing to worry about. They get done they give me a little ice pack to put on my breast for a couple days Im in so much pain its unreal. We go home and by the time I get to the house its black and blue where they were tagging me. On Wednesday July 13, 2016 I had my follow up appointment to get the results of the biopsy. Me and my sister law were sitting in the room and the doctor came in and scratched his head he said well you have breast cancer , my sister in law was sitting across from me I could see the tears rolling down her cheeks but she didn't want me to see them , i lost all feeling I felt like I was gonna pass out , I think I cried maybe a second. I had so many thoughts running through my mind . How was I gonna tell Rusty? He was on the truck. How was I gonna tell my kids? I was so young how could I get cancer ? Why me? Am I gonna die? Can they cure me? I said ok can we do surgery he said no i had to take chemo first and I was like Noooooo not chemo , I wanted that to be the last resort but the tumor was to big and there was nothing they could do until I had chemotherapy first. On the ride home I got in touch with Rusty he was on the road I believe in Missouri (he is a truck driver) and told him I had breast cancer he said he would call me back , I knew he was crying but he was not gonna let me here him nor see him cry. Then we called the parents and everyone else. Everyone took it alright but I was breaking but didn't let know one see. Im good at hiding my feelings even on my worst day I still smile and say Im ok. Me and Rusty met with my exhusband and his wife that Thursday to tell the kids. We met at Mcdonald's we all set down and I let Rusty tell them because I couldn't . Austin wanted to cry but he didn't I don't think he wanted me to see him cry. Gracie cried and cried she asked was I gonna die and could they fix me. Telling your 13 and 15 year old you have cancer is the hardest thing to do. There only kids how will they handle it . My sister took the news harder than us all I think she cried for 2 weeks straight. I then made it public on Facebook to let all my family and friends know that I had cancer .
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