Hurts Like Heaven

Chapter 3 - I Guess What They Say Is True

***BARRY***

Even though I'm human, holding the kryptonite gauntlets I've collected from Luthor's boys makes me feel like I'm irretrievably irradiating myself. Maybe it's because I've hung around Kara long enough, but the little pins and needles I feel creeping up my arms as I run away from the bridge, they're actually pretty annoying. The gauntlets are lighter than they look, but their weight, I start feeling it a little more with every mile I run.

I can't even say for certain if there'll be anyone waiting for me when I get to STAR Labs - because that's where I'm headed. I may be wrong, but I sort of remember Jax and Other Me saying that's where they were going to take the kryptonite they found at the airport. Again, though, I may be wrong. I may just be extrapolating based on my own theories and headcanons...wait, this isn't exactly a time for "headcanons." Whatever, I can pretend all of this is an episode of some TV show. Which, on another distant Earth (probably Earth-9 or something), it probably is. Hi, viewers. Don't mind me rambling. It happens sometimes, especially when you get into my head as I run. Running has a way of scattering my thoughts sometimes.

Within ten seconds, I return to STAR Labs. I'd be there sooner, but the layout of this Earth's Central City is just different enough from mine that, embarrassingly, I wind up lost for a moment or two along the way. But eventually, I get there, and Jesse Wells is quick to direct me to a vault (not unlike the one used by Eobard Thawne on my Earth when he impersonated Harrison Wells) where Firestorm is currently stacking up the kryptonite from the airport. Using my speed, I lend them a hand, completing the stacks neatly and beautifully. Then we emerge back into the corridor, where the two halves of Firestorm separate. As they do so, I notice that in addition to the usual orange-yellow sparks they emit, there are some kryptonite-green sparks as well.

Jesse sees this as well. "All right, boys," she says, clapping her hands. "Let's get you decontaminated."

"You know this shit don't hurt us, right?" Jax laughs, his face growing deeply ruddy. It's nothing on Other Me, though, who looks like he's really going to catch fire, even more so than I must as I blush while wearing my blood-red suit.

"She's got a point, though," I say. "We've still got our Kryptonian friends in town. We can't poison them. Interstellar incident much?" I laugh at my own joke, but nobody else does. "Uh, but decontamination...don't tell me you're gonna have to burn my suit!"

Cisco's voice cuts in on the earpiece I'm still wearing. "What's that you said, Bar? You know they can't burn your suit, not when it's-"

"Figure of speech, Cisco." Not to mention a brain fart. I really do have an easy time forgetting that my suit originated as a prototype for firefighters of tomorrow.

Jesse leads the way. "I dunno exactly what kind of tech you have on your Earth, but around here, we can decontaminate without burning." She opens a door, revealing a locker room with a row of showers on the back wall. "Necessity is the mother of invention, as they say."

"What she means," says Other Me, "is that unlike most other Earths, we've had a lot more trouble with nuclear energy."

"But we got it under control nowadays, don't we?" Jax grins, then runs ahead of us, somehow managing to strip off all his clothes with not only super speed, but super coordination as well. He's nothing if not shy, and the rest of us avert our gazes until he's out of sight, ensconced in one of the showers.

Jesse continues to look away as I - along with Other Me - copy Jax. But being all arms, legs, thumbs, and left feet, we need to give each other a lot of space. Neither of us is anywhere near graceful at this - good thing I never took up stripping to pay for college, because I wouldn't have lasted a minute.