Entry N°21

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Entry N°1, November 16
I've decided to keep a little journal, to take note of everything interesting about the experiment; after all, I cannot deny that this is a very peculiar case, which demands to be explored and documented properly.

Entry N°2, November 19
Hyde's life goes on in his extreme simplicity, I'd dare say it's quite boring. Whenever he is out in the world, he seems to be attracted by others more than he is in himself, as if he's incapable of realizing how intriguing he is.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder why the misery of other men concerns Hyde so much.

Entry N°3, November 20
I'm truly sorry for writing here. I'm aware this is your notebook Henry, but I just wanted to wish you a really happy birthday! I bought you a little something, I really hope you like it!
Edward Hyde

How wonderful, I'm a year closer to death. You didn't have to buy me a new fountain pen. Seriously, you didn't have to. It's just a frivolous waste of money.
By the by, considering you're a part (actually, the very center) of this experiment, feel free to add your insights in here.

Entry N°4, November 28
Another week of work at the hospital. Nothing particular happened.

Entry N°5, December 12
I noticed that our memories aren't divided equally between myself and Hyde. I can now see that although my mind fails to recall certain knowledges, like for instance medical notions, Hyde seems to be able to remember perfectly; on the other side, he is incapable of remembering parts of-- memories of--     He can't remember everything.

I have problems remembering things connected to our parents unfortunately. I can't deny that I would love to know more, and that not knowing is very hard for me, but I understand that Henry isn't ready to talk about it, and I respect that.

Entry N°6, December 25
Henry passed out. He drank until he couldn't even speak properly... when I saw him fall I wanted to help him out, and by doing so I actually discovered that I can take control of the body without the potion, even if for just a little bit. I'm gonna put ourselves to bed... after taking something for the headache, that is.
...poor Henry.

Entry N°7, January 1
Hyde stopped going to the hospital for a few days. He wanted to celebrate New Year's Eve with his "family". How curious. What does he mean by family? Am i... his family? Are we a family? This makes no sense. I can't understand.

Entry N°8, January 2
In absence of other people to help, Hyde's starting to "take care" of me. I don't understand. Is he that desperate for the joy of helping others, to the point to help me..? ...I can't understand him.

Entry N°9, January 3
Today i went to visit Utterson and Lanyon, and stayed there with them to celebrate Hastie's birthday. We had a good time!
Before going I tried to ask Jekyll if he wanted to come as well, but he refused. I'm starting to understand why he's so afraid of seeing them: whatever happened to him and our parents, left him a scar in his mind, which is incredibly painful to him; that is why he wants to avoid thinking not only about them, but also everything concerning his childhood that might make him think of them. In his head Utterson and Lanyon are connected very strictly to his childhood... hence why thinking about them is so painful...
I wish I could help him... but I don't know how...

Entry N°10, January 17
Hyde started going to the hospital again. Back to his monotonous life.
He seems happy though.

Entry N°11, January 22
Henry smiled!! Today he smiled!! And it wasn't a grin or some sort of smirk; no, it was a happy smile!! I can't express how overwhelmed I feel!! I was telling him something that happened today at the hospital, and I saw him smile!! I will continue trying to make him smile, he really looks wonderful when he does that. I wish he would let himself be happy more often...

Entry N°12, January 24
More improvements!!! Today I was telling him some more stories about the hospital when he looked at me and asked me how Utterson was! This simply incredible! Not only he managed to talk about him without appearing shocked or panicked, but he was also concerned for him!!! I'm so enthusiastic, this is wonderful!!

I would really appreciate if you could avoid talking about me like I'm a patient of yours.

Entry N°13, February 5
Stride left my house a few moments ago. He had very interesting news this time.
A name.
I'll go get my cape and my dagger. This night is gonna be a long one, but there's work to do.

Entry N°14
I'm home

Edward kept crying and yelling the whole time

I need a Jack Daniel's

Entry N°15, February 6
My head is pounding strongly. Outside i can hear the newsboy shouting louder than ever; I guess today they'll sell more than usual.
I woke up about an hour ago, and oddly enough, Hyde didn't greet me as always. I have to admit I'm both glad and concerned, but not too much: these last 3 months showed me how patient and forgiving he can be.

Entry N°16, February 9
He still refuses to speak to me. Foolish. Pathetic. What does he think to obtain this way?

Entry N°17, February 10
Nothing.

Entry N°18, February 11
Nothing.

Entry N°19, February 12
I just need some time to think. Please.

I tried to transform; he remained silent, wrote on the notebook and transformed back.

Entry N°20, February 13
I feel... I hate to admit it, but I cannot deny that Hyde's absence... it's...
...I miss him.

Entry N°21, February 14
He spoke to me! I have no words to describe the incredible sensation of hearing his voice again!
He explained to me that it wasn't his intention to make me worry. He just wanted some time alone, to properly take in what had happened, what I had done.
I feel so dumb. Maybe I'm the foolish, the pathetic one, but God, the moment I saw him...
I felt so helpless without him.

Only now I understand: we both need each other to exist. One cannot live without the other.
This is very, very interesting.

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