An Accidental I Love You

Twenty-One

"Good morning, Princess," Jullian mutters as I wake up, yawning in the process. I turn to him and smile, him quickly kissing me before getting out of the bed, into the bathroom. I slowly turn back to my previous position, my eyes slowly starting to get droopy again. I jolt awake not much later to the sound of my alarm going off... just to figure out Jullian woke up only 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off.

Damn you Jullian.

I slowly make my way off of the bed, starting by forcefully kicking the blanket on my legs, then slowly sliding my body off of the bed, onto the heated floor. My eyes start to get heavy but then a door slams against the wall, waking me up instantly.

"Eleanor?" Jullian asks, my eyes all of a sudden no longer sulky.

"Um... yes?" I ask, caught off guard by the use of my full name.

"Can you get off the floor please and explain to me what this is?" He says, obviously trying to keep his voice steady. My heart immediately starts racing and I slowly get up, looking to see Jullian holding an orange bottle.

My medicine.

"What do you mean Jewel," I slowly play it off, attempting not to stutter.

"Don't lie to me... please," he says, looking at the bottle, then to his phone in his other hand.

No no no n-

"Sertraline may treat clinical depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety distorder, post traumatic stress disorder, fibromyalgia, bulimia, premenstrual syndrome, body dysmorphic disorder, prementrual dysphoric disorder, agoraphobia, trichotillomania, and seasonal affective disorder."

"Jullian it's not-"

"Please tell me you have the premenstrual syndrome and not any of the other things on that list," he whispers, making eye contact with me. I remain quiet and he looks down at the bottle then to me, his eyes overfilling with sadness. "Not because of me."

"I didn't want to tell anybody okay?" I admit, slowly getting up, "I didn't want people's sympathy... I didn't want to be treated differently so I didn't say anything."

He continues to stare at the bottle, slowly moving it to look inside through the plastic, "please tell me it's not bulimia because Norie if it is I-"

"It's not Jullian- it's not," I reassure him, walking over to him. "Look I just didn't want to scare you like this okay? It's nothing... I promise," I say with a small smile, gently pulling his head towards mine and placing a kiss on his forehead. "I promise I was going to tell you at some point" I sigh, taking the bottle from his limp hand and putting it in my bag, "last night was just a lot."

"Why didn't you just tell me though? I wouldn't treat you any differently," he says, which I simply shake my head.

"You would. You can say you won't but inside you know you would... and that you will," I say, muttering the last part. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, sitting on the end of the bed.

"But why hide it? I mean, does anybody know? anyone?"

"Yes, there are people who know, Jewel. They only know because they had to."

"Who? Anthony?" He scoffs, my silence pissing him off more, "okay."

"Are you seriously going to get mad right now? Yes, it was him. I told him and not you because-" I start to ramble, stopping myself.

"Because why?" He asks, standing up.

"Nothing, it's not a big deal," I mutter, heading for the door but Jullian blocks it with his hand in front of me.