A Beautiful Disaster

suicidal thoughts and depression

suicidal thoughts and depression

Suicidal thoughts and depression.

Do I really have to answer your question

Whether if I feel your sympathy

I feel my demons scratching to the surface

They latch onto my skin

Tearing me apart.

Screaming that I'll never be enough

Or that I'm a worthless corpse.

Yes, I agree I need help

But at the same time, I'm unable to.

I can't speak up for myself

Because I'm often shut down.

I have to stand tall

But not too much

Because if I stand too much

Then people will think too much of me

And I can only do so much

And when that pressure of being told what to do hits me.

I start not being able to breathe

I am then soon unable to speak

My words get stuck at the back of my throat

Then I get frustrated and begin to cry.

Yes, I know I need help

But I don't know what I have

I've carried these emotions for so many years

And I've gained brutal scars because of them.

And they somehow morphed me.

Into the person I am.

a.b.