Chapter 4

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(Why don't we go to the barn and we can sit and I can tell you about the therapy we offer here.) "Why don we go tae th' barn 'n' we kin sit 'n' ah kin tell ye aboot th' therapy we offer 'ere". I wait until he starts toward the barn before I begin to follow. As we enter the barn, I see that the barn is actually 5 different barns that are backed up to each other with a circular common area, or small arena in the middle. Each barn must have 20 stalls. As we near the center, he steers us toward the table, set off to the side. Abel and Brand sit across from me. Abel grabs a notepad and ask if I mind if he takes some notes. I shake my head no that I don't mind. As Abel is writing, he ask if I would mind telling him about the sexual assault. I take a deep breath and begin to tell him my story. " I was nineteen years old at the time of the rape. I had been in the Marine Corps for about a year and had went to a party off base with other Marines. Everything at the party was fine but by the time I got ready to go home, I was too drunk to drive so I rode with my platoon sergeant back to the barracks. He helped me to my room and when he realized my roommate had not got home yet. He came on in my room, but I wasn't to concerned because he was my platoon sargeant. He had been in my room on several occasions. Suddenly he was on top of me, lying on my bed with his hand over mouth and the other holding both of my hands above my head. he leaned down and said that if i screamed he would cut me." I reached up to wipe the tear from my eyes and noticed that both Brand and Abel were watching me. It was very unnerving. " What", I shouted at them. (Don't raise your voice to me!) "Don raise ur voice tae me!" Brand said very authoritatively. ( We are not the ones that hurt you. We are trying to understand what has happened to make distrust men) We are nae th' ones tae hae hurt ye. We are trying tae ken whit haes happened tae mak' ye hae lost yer trust." "I'm sorry, sir.", I said as I bowed my head with shame at how I raised my voice to them even though they had done nothing to me. ( It's alright, please continue your story) " Tis al'right now. Please continue ur story." "He tied my hands above my head and pulled my shirt up to where it was bunched up in my mouth. He then took his knife and was running it over my body. I thought he was going to cut me or stab me, but I tried not to make a sound. Then he went down my stomach and he kept going. I really thought he was going to rape me with his knife. I started to make more noise. I just couldn't help it. Then I could hear a tearing sound as he was cutting my clothes off of me. He yanks my legs apart and slams himself into me. The pain was unimaginable. The tearing and burning. I passed out from the pain. Before this I was a virgin. I had been waiting for marriage. I awoke later and had to go to the bathroom and when I stood up, blood went everywhere. I rushed to the bathroom. I was hurting like crazy and the bleeding wouldn't stop. I called 911 and the ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and took me to the hospital. That's about it." Abel continued to write for a few minutes, then he looked up at me and said, I appreciate you telling us about your experience. I would like it if you would consider us for therapy. "I'm not sure. I'm not really in the BDSM thing", I said. ( well, according to your friend, Brinleigh, you've tried a lot of thing and nothing has helped. Why don't you give it a try. You're in complete control here. You decide and let me know) " Weel, according tae ye friend, Brinleigh, ye hae tried a guid bit 'n' nothin' haes helped ye. How come don't ye gie it a huv a go 'n' see. Yer in complete control 'ere. Ye decide 'n' let me know." Brand said. He got up to walk back to the house and all I could think is I may not ever see him again if I walk away. What if he could help me? "Sir" He stopped walking and slowly turned around. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow as if to ask Yes? " Please, I want to try", I said looking towards him. ( Then come to me)"Then come tae me." I quickly looked up at him and he said, ( Keep your eyes up when you are talking to me)"Keep ye eyes up whin yer talking tae me." "Yes, Sir", I said as I made my way over to him. (Walk with me and I'll tell you a little about myself) "Walk wi' me 'n' ah will tell ye a little aboot meself" he said as he held his hand out for me to take. I hesitated only for a moment, but I didn't want him to change his mind, so I took ahold of his hand.  

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