Creative writing (for my English class)

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You have the ability to freeze time. When you do, everyone freezes as well. One day, you freeze time, and out the window, you see a girl moving around. Her long, fiery red hair catches your eye. Suddenly, you get a strange urge to talk to her. "Stop!" You yell while running out of the room. She turns and pokes out her tongue at you. She then runs off, the last thing you see of her, sadly, being her hair. You run after her, getting tired very fast. "Where is she?" You think as you run around the corner. As you start to slow down and your will to find the girl decreases at the second. Sighing, you turn around, coming face to face with the girl.
There are freckles scattered all over her face, like stars in the night sky. You look at her eyes. They shock you, stun you, take your breath away, leaving you in some sort of trance. Her eyes, filled with forest green moss with the most unnatural shade of green tint the centre, hooking you. You move your eyes to her nose. To your horror, her face splits in half, and everything thing around you fades to black. You hear giggling, then pass out.
You wake up, cold, in a room with a flickering light. You try to move, but nothing happens. All your limbs are frozen. You try to look around but not even your eyes will listen. Everything is blurry. Your head starts to pound and you start to freak out. Suddenly, the door creaks open. You hear giggling and your heart rate increases immediately, along with your breathing. Heavy footsteps enter the room. The giggling intensifies, then stops. All of a sudden you feel a sharp pain in your inner elbow and all the tension in your body you didn't even know was there disappears. Your vision clears and you manage to get a decent look at the room. The walls are made of rusty metal, with deep red smears all over them. The door is cracked and somehow even more rusted then the walls.
The girl with red hair walks in front of you, and squats, forcing you to look her in the eyes. A lump in your throat appears, making it hard to breathe. "I need you to do something for me. Okay?" You try to answer, but the expanding lump in your throat is making it impossible for any words to escape. "Okay?" She asks again, her temper growing. You nod quickly and she smiles sweetly. "Okay, good." She stands up and walks to the door, her heels click-clacking the whole way. She turns and slams one heel against the ground. You cover your ears as the noise echos loudly around the room. "Follow me."
You stand up quickly and walk towards the door. She leads you into a hallway. You spend what feels like forever walking, occasionally taking a left or right. Finally, she comes to a stop and looks at the door in front of her. "Look away," she commands. You look down as she puts a pin into the door. The door unlocks. You look up and brush your hair out of your face. Inside the door is all black. "Get in." She orders.
You walk in the door and a pungent smell wacks you in the face. A harsh light turns on and you notice dead bodies all around you. "Look at me." She says, her voice to cheery for the setting you're in. You slowly turn around and see a shiny knife in her hand. She grabs you're throat and kisses you, long and slow, before plunging the knife into your chest. She pulls it in and out, the speed increasing every time. Your vision gets blurry and your chest stings. A single tear falls down your face before you fall to the ground.
The last you thing you see is her leaving, closing the door behind you.

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